Basketball against the Zen:

            There is a state championship team in basketball. They have multiple D1 athletes recruited in multiple sports. They are trying to recapture their former glory with one last run with the seniors who make up the bulk of their D1 ensemble. I have watched them play twice this year and have followed them intently.

            The first game I saw, they easily beat their opponent. In realty, the game was over by half time as they held a commanding lead. The coach subbed liberally and made sure all the players got into the game. However, after the game was over, I was fortunate enough to be able to talk to an assistant coach, and I could see certain cracks forming in their foundation. The assistant reaffirmed my suspicion in a general way. It was interesting to see that he was not comfortable with the team but could not put his finger on the problem.

            In the second game I saw, they got out to an early lead, but after each successive basket they scored (or didn’t score), their star player complained to an official. He was flopping on the ground, looking up to the refs, and raising his hands and arms in frustration. What he should have been frustrated with was his inability to model proper behavior to his teammates, underclassmen, and friends.

            One of their starters, another D1 recruits, albeit a very low level D1 recruit, started to misbehave. He would not pass to certain players on occasion and wanted to be the show. A different player, a D1 recruit in another sport, was flexing his size and muscle. When the other team came back, making the game close, his frustration was evident. He ended up being close to the other team during a time out and made a comment to their bench as he went to his team’s huddle. He also griped to his coach when he was taken out of the game. You could see the coaches’ frustration in their team’s behavior and play.

            The score remained close until the end of the game. The other team battled hard. A standout point in the game happened when the other team’s best player fouled out, and his team started to play better. An injury to a player on his team afforded extra playing time to a previous bench player, and that player responded with improved play. He didn’t all of a sudden get better; he just all of a sudden got a chance to play more.

            This is my solution, as I was asked by an observer what I thought of the contest. First, the coach of the winning team had tasted the glory and fruits of victory. He truly believed that he had the talent to repeat as champions. What he didn’t realize is that the very things that had made him successful and driven his team to a championship were now missing. The unselfishness had been replaced by selfishness. The discipline that allowed them to beat other teams with equal or more ability was missing. Misbehaving players were not benched, and were allowed to continue their poor behavior. In a game against their top rival they fell behind, but their superior talent allowed them to come back and win. Now, it was too late. People were saying the “inmates were running the asylum”. But the fact was, a slow deterioration of balance and teamwork had eroded the advantage talent had given them. They are still kids. They need guidance. They need to know there are boundaries. The coach did not want to mess up the apple cart. He was under a lot of pressure to win. He thought he had a formula that led them to their state championship, and he was not going to mess with it, but you could tell by his body language he was not happy with his team.

            What he did not understand was that this was not the same team that won the state championship. The same things that got them to the championship were not the same things needed to repeat that success. Discipline not needed on the way up was paramount now, and needed to be handed out and enforced fairly. The subs were now more important than ever to help push everyone involved to return to their previous level of play. A different scenario was now present, and through lack of training, awareness, or the necessary capacity, the chances of repeating that success were dimmed. This is what happens to teams. They get a false sense of security or superiority, and they feel like they can do it again. They can turn the talent switch on and off when they feel like it. But this is not true. Balance is lost, discipline is compromised, short term victory replaces long term success without anyone realizing it, and victory slips away.

hockey story

 This is a story about a high school hockey coach. I ran into this person when I was called to help a youth sports coach solve a problem on his team. While waiting for his team to come off the ice, I noticed this high school coach with a serious look on his face standing at the arena door, scowling. Previously, I had been told that he was a great guy and that everyone likes this guy. I was stunned when he spoke. He cursed the team practicing on the ice and cursed at them, saying they should get off the ice. He turned away in disgust and headed back into his locker room.

When it came time for his team to take the ice for the game, he purposefully held them back in the locker room, until, eventually, two different people had to go back to the locker room and tell him that it was time to get on the ice. Just before he let his team go on the ice, one of the officials started to leave the ice to go get him and his team.

Now he really had my attention. During the game, I stood next to the bench and watched how he interacted with his players. Again, I was stunned. He had a very young group of players, and yet he spent more time barking at the players and the officials than he did teaching and praising the kids. Two specific incidents happened during the contest that made me rethink the popular opinion of this coach. First, one of his players was hit into the boards right next to the bench he was coaching from, and a penalty was not called immediately. His remark to his own player on the ice was unbelievable. Instead of checking on the player’s well being, he instructed the player to stay down on the ice and not move. The player was clearly fine, as I was right behind the glass where it happened, less than two feet from the player. He looked up at his coach, who was glaring at him, and sat back down on the ice. The coach wanted a penalty called on the play.

The next incident was even worse. One of his young defensemen made a bad give away in the neutral zone that resulted in a scoring chance for the other team. He pulled the kid off the ice and then reamed him.  He blasted the player in a loud voice, in front of the rest of the team, telling him that he had made a terrible mistake. He told the player that if he did anything like that again, he would be finished for the rest of the game. Again, I was right next to the bench, and the looks on the faces of the player and his teammates was exceptionally telling. The defenseman who was yelled at was devastated. His head was down and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

How do you think he was going to perform while living in fear of losing his playing time? You may think that feeling is an acceptable motivating factor, but it is not. It is only a possible short term solution. The coach is modeling behavior to his players that they will certainly either internalize and imitate, or rebel against. The player learns that it is acceptable to criticize teammates and get in their face if they make a mistake. The people connected with the team were unaware of the incident, while the coach tried to win a game that is meaningless to the entirety of the season.

Screamin memees

Yet another modified basketball game, and yet another example of what needs to be fixed in youth sports. In the grand scheme of things, it was one more meaningless game. Boys were playing basketball to have fun. They are not at home playing X-box or on their phones texting or staring at the computer. Both coaches were mindful of their players' playing time, their enjoyment in participating on a team, and just having fun.
  I purposefully sat close to the benches during the first half. I listened to the coaches talk to their players and everything was fine. The players were being rotated in as the rules dictated and the coaches, for the most part, were positive. It's modified so it's not very good basketball skill wise, but it was competitive and fun. I kept track of the shooting percentage, how many shots were taken, and how many foul shots were made. Without going into extensive details, the shooting percentage was 24% from the field, and 50% from the free throw line, with the help of one particular boy who made 4 in a row at the end of the game.
    I went over to where the parents were sitting and I received an education in parent/spectator coaching. Let's go team by team. The first team's parents made sure they were either in the front row or far enough away from the other parents so their kid could have a clear view to them on the sideline. Yes, the parents had a strategy as to where they sat and how they could interact with their child on the court or sitting on the bench. One dad repeatedly gave his child instructions whenever the child got close to the dad on the sideline. A mom continuously told her son what to do while he was playing, without any consideration for what the coach wanted the players to do as a team on the court.
     The second team's parents were worse. One dad took credit for a child getting a rebound. He told the player (who was not his son) that the ball would come to him off the free throw line. It did not. It went to the other side. However, like kids do, most of the players watched the trajectory of the ball as it hit the rim and bounced way away, all before anyone moved. It was hilarious. As the player went to the bench the father yelled to him and to everyone around him in the stands that he called the play. Of course he did not. The player's reaction was great. He completely ignored the parent trying to get his attention, and when he sat down on the bench, he looked up, shook his head in disgust, and started talking to his friends on the team. The mom in the stands was even worse. She was jumping up and down shouting at the refs, saying they didn't give her team any calls, right before they got a foul called on the other team. She yelled after a 3 point shot was made, demanding to know why the refs didn't count it. Of course, there are no three point shots in modified basketball. The school's supervisor had to go sit next to the parents to settle them down
      At the end of the game, I went over to stand near where the players left to go to the locker room. I pretended to get a drink of water from the fountain as I listened to the boys' reaction. They talked about the game for a couple of minutes before the subject was dropped and they wanted to eat.
     Let me state the problems that are present, and will continue on to non-basketball related endeavors. No one can multitask. The parents that are yelling or signaling instructions to the children only serves to confuse them. "COME ON! LET'S GO!" is overused and only shows parent frustrations. Parents, think of your own job. When you are frustrated, do you want someone yelling instructions at you while you are trying to do your job? Butting in, which is what the parents were doing, teaches the kids that its OK for them to stick their noses in to other people's business. It also tells them that it is OK to not follow the rules. Finally, and there never really is a finally, it teaches the kids that the expectations of others is more important than the enjoyment they are having playing a sport.  It sets an example for them that it is OK to yell, scream, criticize, and misbehave if things don't go your way. Watch how it comes back to haunt those people when the kids start to mimic the parents' behavior in real life.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct:

Unsportsmanlike Conduct:

            A sectional championship soccer game was taking place before a packed stadium. Two rivals playing in front of three thousand people. A great day for all the players. In a hotly contested match, the winning team was substituting many players during the contest. They increased their lead with 10 minutes to go and emptied their bench. This team was made up of mostly players who played on their own town team. Most, if not all of their kids would get a chance to play in front of this packed house.

The other coach who had many “Club” soccer players on his team chose not to substitute. He saw this as a way to get back into the game. His players on the bench were clearly upset. Even if they did come back and win, many players would not have felt part of the victory, and those that played would not have the connection to the other players when memories were shared years from now.

            The losing team did not come back and win and substituted only a couple of player’s players. The coach no longer coaches the team. In discussions with some of the players on the losing team, their careers did not result in a D1 Athletic scholarship. They also suffered injuries after leaving their high school that may be overuse injuries that could linger into late adulthood. (Please watch my videos or read my book to further explain.)

            The argument can be made that the children should learn this life lesson and that is the way life is going to be when they get older. They will have to learn and deal with failure. However, another argument can be made for the importance of community. There is a great value in getting along with each other and helping each other. In the work place these kids are not always going to be the most talented person at their job. Even if they are they are going to have to be able to work with other people, get along with other people, and possibly lead other people. The skills modeled to them during this season will come back to haunt them in the future.