tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63569862161385817162024-03-12T21:37:49.095-07:00FrozenshortsVJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.comBlogger228125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-62493750108454553892016-07-11T07:23:00.001-07:002016-07-11T07:23:49.792-07:00The Truth: It is what's best for the children's journey<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #4d4f51; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">1% of 1% of kids who play sports go pro. Its a
race that doesn’t exist. Its like playing the lottery to win! Just heard a kid
say he wanted to play for his HS over club team so he could hear the fans from
his school and talk to his friends and classmates about the game in school the
next day. The kids inherently want to experience life skills! Ever seen a 2nd
grade teacher with a Masters degree try to get her kids to line up properly to
go to gym or lunch? Now you want to tell me that there is a realistic and not
adult made up elite 2nd grade travel sports? Parents: ever had an older child
take something from a younger child? Ever had them share? Which do you have to
teach them to do more often, to be competitive or to get along? The best
learning environment is when the teacher and the student learn together, and
both share that knowledge with others who have the same or less ability. It’s
called community, and it is very important for later on in life coping skills. Sometimes
you have to treat the symptom to relax the patient first. Then we treat the
disease. We need more tolerance and inclusion, not eliteness and exclusion.</span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-25195432338348209432016-06-09T11:11:00.003-07:002016-06-09T11:11:46.323-07:00The Stanford Rape Case and the Entitlement Culture<div class="MsoNormal">
Much has been written about this case, and deservedly so. I
have what I believe to be a different perspective on the matter. What I want to
know about this case is why very few people are talking about the culture that
had to exist for this to happen. Let me explain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to know what kind of culture exists that, when a
person is intoxicated at a party, there is no support system for that person to
be helped home or at least help to provide them transportation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When did we lose that sense of community where extreme
behavior by a person is not cause for concern amongst friends? Or even
strangers that are in contact with this person are not alarmed and want to
help?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not have the whole story on the two men who came to her
aid but I am pretty sure one of them was not from America. That seems to me to
possibly be a big part of the story. What is prevalent in his culture that he
would immediately come to the aid of a person he did not know? I see article
and videos every day of people in trouble while bystanders sit and watch.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I want to talk about the dad. I have a daughter. She is
21 years old and a senior in college. She is an A student. I would hope that
when she is around people that ALL of them are looking out for one another with
a deep sense of community and well being. If this happened to my daughter I
would be outraged at the boy and his father.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The father’s statement reeks of entitlement. I would like to
know his background. What did he provide for his son during his youth sports
ruse in the swimming environment and home environment that set up this cause
and effect scenario? What is the dad’s background? Do they come from wealth?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What we do at Frozen Shorts is to try and change the
culture. We want people to embrace the fact that they are children and need to
be taught life lessons. The need to fail, they need to sacrifice, and they need
to understand that we are all in this together. I am not better than you. You
may be my opponent but I respect you and trust that you will play with
sportsmanship and fair competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His letter, his reaction, the Judge’s decision, and the
ensuing reaction are playing out all across the country, and rightly so. I
simply want to ask one last question. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How did you think this was all going to end up?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entitlement, lack of community, the haves and the have nots,
are combined with a lack of accountability and ‘I got a raw deal so I can give
someone else a raw deal without guilt’. You have a formula for a culture that
is very unhealthy for our children’s future being promulgated and played out
every day.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stop the tsunami.</div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-55282911702002484672016-05-23T08:50:00.000-07:002016-05-23T08:50:03.656-07:00Sports Talk Show Pillot Episode Testimonials<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sports talk
Show Pilot Testimonials<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our Pilot episode. A
different kind of sports talk show. Changing the culture.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpiNdZAVlD8" target="_blank"><span style="background: white; color: #1155cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpiNdZAVlD8</span></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/steven.fineron?fref=ufi"><b><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Steven
Fineron</span></b></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> VJ and Steve, I
just watched your short, and loved it!!! Coach Armstrong @ Rush Hen. had the
same way of teaching and COACHING!! @ the same time. Never beat Irondequoit.
the Whipple bro's killed us, but what said at the locker room meeting was...
did you give it your all? Look inside, take inventory, and be satisfied with it
, if not Find a new course. Thanks!! Old mem's are the best .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/vj.stanley.1" title="Like this comment"><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Like</span></a><span style="color: #90949c; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> · </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/vj.stanley.1"><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Reply</span></a><span style="color: #90949c; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> · </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/vj.stanley.1/posts/1016696005050493?comment_id=1016724791714281&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R1%22%7D"><span style="color: #90949c; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">22
hrs</span></a><span style="color: #90949c; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/steven.fineron?fref=ufi"><b><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Steven
Fineron</span></b></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Loved the show,
that's sports!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/ralphtetta?fref=ufi"><b><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Ralph Tetta</span></b></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Great show. I have to tell you, that in
my second year of coaching U12 Recreational League soccer, I am TERRIFIED about
being a bad coach. I worried first year about parents complaining that the team
didn't win enough, their kid didn't play enough, etc. etc. </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/vj.stanley.1?hc_location=ufi" target="_blank"><span style="color: #365899; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Vj</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, you gave me a copy of your book, and after
reading the first few chapters, I started to understand what was REALLY
important. When I worked with you on standup comedy, I told you that the first
rule was HAVE FUN. If it isn't fun, why do it in the first place? And yet, the
expectation I put on myself was 180 degrees away from that attitude when it
came to coaching sports. You changed my whole perspective. I have a 4th grader,
and equal numbers of 5th, 6th and 7th graders on my team this year. I'm sure no
parent expects their kid to be Abby Wambach. But they do expect me to keep it
fun, let the kids play, and encourage them to continue developing skills at
their pace and to whatever their ability. I look forward to further episodes of
your show. I would recommend leaving time at the end and perhaps a graphic to
communicate the services you offer, instead of shoe-horning it into the
conversation. I really liked what you and Steve had to say based on your
experience and I will continue to watch the segments you post. THANK YOU for
sharing this information, and hopefully the movement will pick up steam!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 10.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #F6F7F9; line-height: 10.05pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-30700961503694810982016-05-16T09:10:00.001-07:002016-05-16T09:10:13.692-07:00Truth and Consequences<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I had a parent tell me after one of my talks that
his son was driven to get an athletic scholarship to college. He understood
that some athletes could “afford” to
play multi sports, but they were very few. The multi sport athlete path to a
scholarship was only good for the truly gifted athletes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His son needed to play one sport year round to get the DI
athletic scholarship. The extra time and
private lessons would allow him to get better faster. He also said that the
other athletes on his son’s club team were playing one sport year round. They
were getting “full rides.” His son was every bit as good as those other boys
who were getting athletic scholarships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He then reiterated that since recruiting had gotten to be
for younger and younger kids that his 15 year old son could fall behind them if
he didn’t concentrate on one sport year round. Besides, his son loved his
sport. It was the only sport he wanted to play. Why would he take that dream
away from his son?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As he walked away I was struck by the thought : Who was he
trying to convince, me or him? You could see the angst in his tone and body
language. This whole process was stressing him out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Was it because deep down he truly did not know if this path
was best for his son? Could it be that now that his son was 15 years old and
there were no offers he saw that a lot of time and money had been spent on a
pursuit that was slipping away? Now, he had to do everything in his power to
justify to himself and his family why he embraced this race that does not
exist?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or was it simply true that he had been fed so much false
information over the years that he did not know who to believe. He did not know
who to turn to. He did not know who to trust.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is why we do what we do at Frozen Shorts.</div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-24659366445301529722016-05-08T07:22:00.002-07:002016-05-08T07:22:23.084-07:00MOM<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Of all the gifts we can give our Mom
on Mother’s day the best gift, and by far the best gift, is time. It is the one
thing that cannot be bought but has incredible value. Actually, it is
priceless. It is the one thing that shows commitment, thoughtfulness, and love.
Every MOM desires, wants, and needs your time because they have wrapped their
heart and soul into family. The time you give to them makes them feel good. The
time spent with them creates memories. Moms live for experiences that are
turned into memories. It is the one gift that keeps on giving. Your MOM knows
that time can never be replaced or duplicated. It is finite and slipping away
by the day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"> BUT time keeps on giving as she will have
memories of your time together that will far outweigh any material present.
There may be reasons that I do not understand that make it difficult for you to
reach out to your MOM and tell her you love her, and I am truly sorry for that.
But if you can find it in your heart to reach out, it will make her day, now
and forever. I know, I can’t say I love you to my MOM today and I think about
it every day. Miss you MOM. Love you forever. At 60 I am still a MOMAS boy and
proud of it. PEACE</span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-59286423101170214902016-05-02T08:11:00.000-07:002016-05-02T09:26:34.052-07:00The NFL Draft, Multi Sport athletes and THE OHIO State<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">THE NFL
Draft, Multi Sport Athletes, and THE Ohio State<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When the NFL
draft was over many of us looked with interest as to the athletic background of
the players drafted. USA football actually posted the results. In fact 28 of
the 31 first round draft picks played multi sports. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> If you follow me on twitter @VJJStanley you will
have read my interaction with Shelley Meyer on that social media, the wife of
head coach Urban Meyer and her support for our project. She let us know about her husband’s propensity
to recruit multi sport athletes, character and quality kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What you may
not have known, or seen was Urban putting the plan into action along with the
rest of the NCAA Division 1 coaches to recruit multi sport athletes. In fact in
this recruiting class alone He and his staff recruited 48 players of which 42
were multi sport athletes. Why is that important? THE Ohio State University
football team set a record for players drafted in the current 7 round draft in
2004. This year Ohio State had 5 picked in the first round, 2 more in the
second round, and 3 in the third. They completed their run with 2 more in the
fourth round for a total of 12.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Congratulations
to Urban Meyer and the other NCAA Division 1 coaches for using science to help
their programs and the children. The data is now in. Multi sport athletes have
a BETTER chance for a D1 scholarship and a pro career than athletes who
specialize. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Congratulations
to these young men, and especially their PARENTS for choosing the wise, healthy
choice for their children’s future athletic pursuit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Next week a
parent’s response and our answer to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-59205765273979198192016-04-04T08:40:00.004-07:002016-04-04T08:40:59.898-07:00The Amusement Park<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No one gets better
sitting on the bench, no one. There is not one thing sitting on the bench does
for an athlete that is not far outweighed by playing. In this ever changing
world we live in teaching children fair and honest competition and
sportsmanship is only learned by playing. Children learn by internal
realization, not external force. Sitting on the bench and not playing
scientifically speaking, affects the brain and cognitive ability to learn. Have
you ever traveled all day on a plane or car? How tired are you at the end of
the trip? You just sat all day. You get to your destination , say an amusement
park, and you don’t get to go on any of the rides. That's how the kids feel.
That is not a ripe environment to learn. As a head hockey coach in college we
had a simple philosophy. If you dress you play. No, not just one minute at the
end of the game either. At my company Frozen Shorts, we teach completion to
coach’s parents and athletes in our talks and seminars. Survival of the fittest
never meant one person. It meant a community. Inclusion not exclusion is the
new way to build championship teams. I am a very competitive person but I would
bench my mom in the last five minutes of a championship game even if she was my
best player. And it wouldn’t faze me. I would make sure I put her back in,
along with every other athlete thou. Failing is not failure. It’s not my job to
decide when how or even if the light goes on. My goal is to just keep flipping
the switch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Work at it every day at our Co. there should never be U10 kids
sitting. You have to build the base. No one gets better sitting on the bench.
For 99% of the kids HS is it. Body doesn’t develop fully until 22, 23, and 24.
Most teams have 2 good kids and two not so well. Everyone else is interchangeable,
but they don’t all get to play. You always run faster when someone is chasing
you</span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-5330348301611680192016-03-28T09:46:00.001-07:002016-03-28T09:46:05.404-07:00What happens after the bright lights are turned off?<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am certainly happy for the kids on the four teams that
have made it to the final four. These kids are living a mostly once in a
lifetime dream. Some parents too. The
odds of getting here are very slim.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most kids these days
play one sport year round. The players on these teams must be in tremendous
shape to be able to play at this high level for this long. It is even more
amazing because most coaches only play 6, 7, or 8 kids in a close game. Some don’t
play more than that even when they are winning or losing big.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These kids’ bodies and minds take a tremendous year round
pounding. Their game and travel schedules are imposing to say the least. You
combine this with their academics, and you have what amounts to a full time
job. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What these kids have had to endure throughout their season
and career to get to this point is amazing. The constant travel schedules, the
showcases, the many leagues all take their toll on athletes and families.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The risk of overuse
injuries are percentage wise, not in their favor. Yet, they compete. They
compete hard for long periods of time for their team, their future, and adult’s
glory. These kids disregard their
personal well being in hopes of winning a scholarship and maybe a championship.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The future consequences they face when this is over are
massive. For a very few a lucrative NBA payday lies ahead. BUT, even for these
few, long term financial security is microscopic at best. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happens after the lights are turned off? How many of
these kids graduate? How many get a meaningful degree? How many have learned
coping skills and life lessons they can apply to future endeavors?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not saying that
the colleges, the coaches, or even AAU is responsible here. They are businesses
doing their thing. They would not have a market if the parents did not want
their product, and want it badly. Many products are sold every day all over the
worlds that don’t have the consumers’ best interest at heart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who picks up the pieces when hearts, bodies, and minds have
been broken?</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-36288987569247088132016-03-21T07:51:00.003-07:002016-03-21T12:10:59.722-07:00Maybe you should do something else besides coaching kids if:<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe you should do something else beside coaching kids if:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You fall into any of these scenarios as a youth and high
school coach. Over the last six months I have been to practices and games and
have seen more and more of coaches” playing” while their players watch. Time
after time I see coaches being the center of attention “demonstrating” when in
actuality they are showing off while kids, stand, sit and watch them perform. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coaches are continually shouting instructions for an entire
contest. Over coaching your team when the game is already won instead of
concentrating on putting in more children to play have become the norm and not
the exception</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When did it become acceptable for coaches to lecture their
teams for 10 minutes instead of letting them play? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why are coaches giving 20 minute lectures after games are
over?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are coaching kids in hockey and you take slapshots at
the goalie thinking it will be good for them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You take the puck and skate around kids and score.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You join in the scrimmage and dominate play</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You take the basketball and dribble against children and
“body’ them as you go to the basket</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You block their shots thinking it will be good for them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You take shots at the lax goalie and score. You whip balls
at the goalie and try to score in warm-ups</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You take your stick
and make moves on the kids and take pleasure in beating them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You shoot at the soccer goalie and try to beat him</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You dribble through kids and shoot to score</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You and another coach take sideline toe tapping catches before
a game of football</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You throw to the receivers while kids watch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You catch balls from another coach during practice while
kids stand and watch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The adulting and professionalization of youth and high
school sports has gotten out of control. Although most have good intentions
they are bombarded with professional TV”coaching styles.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Children, and they are children, are quitting in droves.
Parents are becoming more disillusioned and frustrated as they spend thousands
of dollars to watch their child “play” in a high stakes game of youth sports.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are a tremendous amount of excellent coaches out
there. They play lots of kids and don’t look for any glory except the faces and
memories of the kids they coach. They are humble and don’t yell at kid or
referees knowing full well that the journey, and mistakes are part of the
journey, are what makes the lasting memories.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-51081105129534633622016-03-07T08:06:00.002-08:002016-03-07T08:06:03.318-08:00Equality or Me-Too_Ism<div class="MsoNormal">
In Psychology, women, for the most part are smarter than men.
We judge intelligence by the firing of the synapse between the corpus
callosums. In this measure, women’s synapse fire faster therefore they are of
higher intelligence. A fact my wonderful wife is keenly aware of. I have said
to my wife on many occasions, if we are going to be equal you will have to
dummy down, and I don’t think you want that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a new mantra in society that I see growing with
increased velocity. It is called “me-too-ism.” Yes I know this is not a word, I
just made it up. This word has taken the place of equality for many people
whether they realize it or not. People who feel oppressed and see little hope
for the future want to vent their frustrations. They look to latch on to
someone or something they feel makes them feel superior. Not better, superior.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The justification for wanting something someone else has, or
is perceived to have is rampant. It is not jealousy as we have known it in the
past. This new brand has a degree of I am better than you along with the
dreaded I am not satisfied with what I have mentality. I need more that I have
whether it is material or psychological.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for the athletes and spousal abuse, in as much as teams
value players GAME IQ it wouldn’t matter unless they are a great athlete. They
have been coddled and told what a great athlete they are for years. When doubt
rears its ugly head it is their athleticism 9 out of 10 times that get s them
out of trouble or to glory. They are getting paid first and foremost because
they are an exceptional athlete.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just because a woman is smaller is no reason to take
advantage of that with your size, strength, or status. It should be protected
and nurtured. We are all on the same team.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need to get along
and help each other. It does not mean we can’t be friendly rivals or compete hard
against each other. Heck, I am more inclined to try harder to beat my friend in
a sports contest that someone I don’t know. They are just another game on the
schedule. But rivalries, well, now you have my attention.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have said on many occasions; you will never be happy with
what you want until you are satisfied with what you have. That life lesson
maybe one of the two or three most important behaviors we model for our
children’s future.</div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-21237283978667670462016-02-29T11:53:00.001-08:002016-02-29T12:13:28.797-08:00School Teachers as Coaches<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">School Teachers
as coaches<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been
married to a teacher for the last 25 years. I witness firsthand the tremendous
pressure they work under on a day to day basis. The ridiculous “Common Core”
that assumes the mantra that teachers should be robots controlled by the State
dictated pre programmed written curriculum. Students should be tested
continually for what they learn to determine both the teachers and students
aptitude. NO! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have spent
parts of the last decade in the classroom and 21 years as a head college coach
and I am here to tell you that teachers do not have it easy by any stretch.
They want to teach. They are creative. They want to help the less educated see
“the light.” Many many teachers are frustrated by the environment in which administrators
and parents think that they should control the way teachers teach. But I
digress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many
teachers who coach youth and high school sports change dramatically when they
get to coach. I am not sure whether it is because of the frustration of their
jobs. Could it be they watch all these DI and pro games and simply mimic the coaches’
behavior and strategies? Might it be partly because of the pay for play
mentality that parents have put so much extrinsic financial pressure on their child’s
athletic journey that they want a return on their investment?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Teacher
after teacher I see mismanage kids who play sports for them to such an extent
that if they ever tried that in their classrooms they would be fired. The very
thing that works for them in the classroom is dismissed by them as soon as they
start to coach. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Teachers
spend more time in class with the students who need help, not the gifted ones.
They don’t yell at the students who are talking tests. Do they yell at the
parents who come and question what they are doing in the classroom?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I would like
to see teachers band together and reinstitute the higher moral ground in
coaching that exemplifies what they do in the classroom. Then, I would like the
administrators back them up and tell the parents to stop all the nonsense that
has contributed to the escalation of negative stress in youth and high school
sports.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am not
saying it doesn’t happen with other adults in other professions when they get
the “whistle.” It does. But I am wondering why the teachers, who know a
different way, a better way for the children to develop and learn, choose to
ignore their training and success in the classroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It all
starts with EPUT. Equal play under 10.That stops the angst to a very high
degree. There are some fantastic opportunities to coach life skills,
accountability, fun and trust with equal play that many try to dismiss. There is
no data to back that up. Play for fun!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-62191686888991267902016-02-22T09:38:00.003-08:002016-02-22T09:38:50.930-08:00The brain and body in balance<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Brain and body<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When you go to
kindergarten do you take one course all day every day? When you are in middle
school do you take one course all day every day? When you are in high school do
you take one course all day every day? When you are in undergraduate in college
do you take one course every day all day? Only in grad school do you start to
specialize. The brain and the body need to be connected in balance. End of
lesson.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-61728155572515811642016-02-15T07:21:00.002-08:002016-02-15T07:21:22.656-08:00John Calipari and Knowing how to win<div class="MsoNormal">
After the loss to Kansas, Coach John Calipari told the
press:<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> "We had our chances in regulation,"
Calipari said. "What I told them after is, I've got to do a better job of
teaching these kids how to win. They do not know how to win a game." . Of
course they don’t.. Do you know why? Because no one knows how to win, nobody.
Nobody knows how to teach winning. On some occasions winning a game sends a
confusing message when you have not played well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> His kids have to concentrate on what they are
doing every second they are out on the court. They cannot concentrate on the
task at hand and still say to themselves “If I do this the team will win,
that’s what coach taught us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understand what John
meant, but I take great exception to the message sent to youth and high school coaches
everywhere by this statement. It’s like when people said Derek Jeter knew how
to win.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let me explain. For those
of you who have been to one of my presentations or read some of my blogs, you
know John Calipari is front and center in a portion of our talks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Three years ago Kentucky
won a national championship. 2 years ago they did not even make the tournament.
Am I to believe that over the summer, after they won the championship, he
forgot how to win? Did he forget how to teach how to win? Last year, he got his
team all the way to the final four. In the semi-final game his team lost. Once
again, at that horrible place and time did he forget how to win? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This year his team has
struggled to some extent. He still has awesome talent on the roster but they just
aren’t jelling as he would like. He has commented about their lack of
consistency and development.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I want to say at this point during last season
he basically went with a platoon system. If one group wasn’t doing well, the
next group came in and played. Play by performance by group. It worked. The interterm
competition between the players for EARNED playing time lifted the whole team
up. Every one runs faster when they are being chased.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am not saying that he
could have duplicated it this year with this roster. BUT>>>><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How’s your way working so
far????<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-9301714895534460022016-02-08T08:17:00.001-08:002016-02-08T08:17:05.808-08:00The Panthers and the Zen<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Panthers and the Zen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been reading with
interest as much as I can about the Panthers over the last two weeks. I have read
interviews from Coach Ron Rivera, and the general manager Dave Gettlemean. Both
men, being humble and thankful were keenly aware of their journey and good
fortune. They both attribute part of their rise to the Super Bowl to LUCK.
That’s right; they both said they got lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave credited his
predecessor with providing useful parts for the team’s success, both on and off
the field. One of the things he stressed
was how fortunate he was to be in this position. Ron talked about the journey.
He had been passed over for head coaching jobs on 7 occasions. He talked about
his aha moment when he felt the team turned the corner towards success. He gave
his players freedom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now last night’s game was
not pretty by any stretch of the imagination. A couple of things caught my eye.
First the Panther players were not so inclined to give up a ball to a fan when
a great play was made. I understand that. It was the Super Bowl. They seemed to
have lost some of their strut. The last fumble when Newton seemed to make what
one announcer called “a business decision” to not go after the fumble was quite
revealing to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Peyton Manning on the
other hand was humble. The 15 yard down and out pass was no longer thrown with
force and zip. It was obvious that this was not his team. He handled it with
class. The constant yelling at the line of scrimmage before each play was for
the most part gone. He had been told not to do it and he listened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The speech he made the
night before was forgotten after the first snap of the ball yesterday. Players
like to talk about that after the fact, but in reality, the cant think of it
while they are playing. It was recounted and remembered after the game, only
because they won. He did manage to get in a plug for Budweiser twice. But,
mostly he was thankful, appreciative and humble.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have never been a fan of
SWAG. Too many things have to happen out of your control to go around showing
off or strutting. It does work for some
people, but not nearly as many as people seem to think it does, and certainly
there are repercussions and accountability factors in play. If you want to celebrate,
show off, and prance, so be it. It’s not my cup of tea. BUT, when games like
this happen, and days like yesterday happen, I sit back, smile and am amused. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No one talked about the
Zen yesterday after the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of my favorite
expressions is…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Peace of mind is victory</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-54273681071442751572016-02-01T08:47:00.001-08:002016-02-01T09:38:01.740-08:00The 5 kids sitting at the end of the bench<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I broadcast
another high school varsity game on the radio. I got there early because I
wanted to see the JV game. One team played lots of kids. They subbed in early
in the first quarter. At the 3 minute mark this coach subbed in 3
kids. By half time all the kids had played. The kids on the bench were engaged
in the game and cheering on their team mates when they weren’t playing. They
had fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The other
coach did not sub until late in the first quarter. He only subbed in one kid. He
was up yelling instructions for most of the game. They had brought a chair from
their school, with their school colors, that was taller than the ones provided
by the host school, and the yelling coach used it for timeouts. It was awkward
to say the least.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you have
been following my program and blogs you know how I feel about constant
instructions being yelled at the kids while they are playing. It does not
work. It is called bottle necking in
Psychology. The kids have a hard time retaining the instructions because they
are overwhelmed with data and can only process a little at a time in their
brains while they are playing. (Parents this goes for you too!)Plus, you are
telling the other coach what your team is doing wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My broadcast
location was on the floor in the middle of the gym directly across from the two
teams. What I want to stress to you today is the last 5 kids on the losing team
bench for both the JV and Varsity game. They were totally disinterested. Even
if the coach needed them to play meaningful minutes they were not prepared to
do so. What if a player got hurt? How about an academic problem? Why not play
these kids?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> These kids needed to know math to play for
their team. They had to divide the score, by the time left in the game,
calculate this with the coaches’ ego in managing a game to win to see if they
might get a chance to play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Next they had to then either root for their
team to play poorly if they were losing, or want them to run up the score if
they are winning. Neither trait is going to help these children later in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was
remarkable to me to see their negative body language in warm ups and sitting on
the bench during the game. They knew they weren’t going to play. What was
stunning to me was that neither the JV or Varsity coach on the LOSING team
noticed these kids except when he yelled at them for something that was going on
in the game while they were sitting. Relationships, the key component to
successful coaching was missing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One last
note to give you a concrete example as to the cause and effect of this kind of
coaching. One of the kids who did not play got into an argument with his mom
after the varsity game was over. It was loud and he was very agitated. Whatever
the problem, was, it was surely exasperated by the athlete not playing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-49233166869730720932016-01-18T14:56:00.001-08:002016-01-18T14:56:32.781-08:00What is the cost of the new 15 seconds of fame?<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="bsgbs-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="84atq-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="84atq-0-0">Consequences: Cause and effect</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="drl9k-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="drl9k-0-0">Scenarios are playing out across the country with kids and families devoting themselves to get those 15 seconds of fame. They don’t think that is what it is going to be, but for most kids, and that is 99% of them the dreams of the DI scholarship and pro career come down to this.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="akfgk-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="akfgk-0-0">What if an athlete gets to play 15 seconds in one game at one hallowed stadium, arena, or court? What if those 15 seconds is all he gets? What if he only got those 15 seconds because the assistant coach told the head coach to play the kid so it would help him get another walk on to commit? The assistant explains to the coach that maybe they can find that late bloomer if they keep doing this and get their own “BIG” before he becomes a “BIG.”</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="5faro-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="5faro-0-0">Let’s take this concept and extrapolate it across the country to all sports. There could easily be 100,000 kids and families going through this scenario each year. They have invested all the time, money, and mental stress to get their child to this one point in his continuum. This child then uses social media to tell all his friends and kids he played with that he made it to the Promised Land. He has to be careful though, not to upset the other scholarship players on the team or the coach with his story as to jeopardize his spot on the team.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="9ok3a-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="9ok3a-0-0">What if other kids he played with did not make it this far? What if they are playing, maybe even starting, on a lower level college team and resent this event? What if they meet back at the old high school and have to face each other?</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="24vie-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="24vie-0-0">Back in my day we would be thrilled for the kid. We would take joy in his success. We would not use it for our own status and benefit. We would still play pickup games and have fun and genuinely share in the good fortune?</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7299d-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="7299d-0-0">But what about the parents connected to this player? What do the parents of the kid who didn’t make it that far say to their own child? How does the snubbed child rationalize and justify being bitter? How does it affect his future playing, coaching, work, and relationship skills? He too spent his whole life trying to get to the DI Promised Land. He may even have had more accolades that the player who made it.</span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="caorp-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="caorp-0-0">Who does the coach favor when they both come back to one of his practices? </span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="3ahg-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="3ahg-0-0">How does the coach handle it? Does he brag to all he knows that one of his kids “made it” and played at a hallowed venue? Does he use this with players coming into or up to his program as an “attainable carrot?” </span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="6imkv-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="6imkv-0-0">What are the long term ramifications of this kind of journey for our children, parents, and coaches?</span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-14724133942647006352016-01-13T08:04:00.003-08:002016-01-13T08:04:17.644-08:00Championships made lives influenced<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">The true sign of a great coach is how many players you develop and get significantly better under your tutelage than championships won. You influence a lot more players lives every day in practice and off field demeanor and modeling behavior for future life skills than you do winning championships. By the way, the two things are directly related.</span>VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-6280040514949945422016-01-13T06:58:00.003-08:002016-01-13T06:58:54.917-08:00Championships: It's all about the journey<span style="color: #232629; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 32px;">Winning is something you have little control over as a coach unless you play weak opponents or stack the deck. I watch coaches and organizations schedule weak opponents or avoid tough ones when they schedule. Managing games over developing kids undermines the team concept.Play lots of kids in all situations. I just met with a young boy last night. His coach wont play him much. I asked if he wanted to play . His eyes lit up. YES he said! He is 14. No one knows how good he is going to be if he doesn't get to play meaningful minutes in games. No one gets better sitting on the bench. Why practice hard if you know you wont get to play in a game.You only get better playing in tough situations. That leads to more championships than any other coaching way</span>VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-5620944760428433862016-01-11T09:00:00.002-08:002016-01-11T09:00:11.424-08:00How did you think this was going to turn out?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I say this over and
over in my talks, seminars, and workshops. There is a culture in sports that is
headed in the wrong direction for the kids, parents, and organizations
participating Over and over we see abhorrent behavior being defended by one
person or another. They say they didn’t
mean it. They say we saw it wrong. It was in the heat of the moment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Rarely if ever do I
hear anyone say, that is a really bad example to set for the children. Rarely
if ever, does the offender own up to the behavior. WHY? That behavior, like
most catastrophic injuries has a history of events and misbehavior before them
leading up to the incident. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The coach, parent, and
organization have looked the other way because the athlete is one of the most
talented players, if not the most talented player on the team. Everyone has
made excuses for the player or defended the players’ actions in the name of
winning. Others want to cling to that person and say they know him. With the
younger athletes they love to say he was over to our house. I’ve talked to him
a lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The bottom line is
that we now have a culture where excuses are made for behavior, instead of
corrective action in many cases, not all. The long term consequences of this
behavior, and there certainly are consequences may not show up for years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Modeling this kind of
behavior and having the people around the behavior acquiesce to it ends the
wrong message to the youth of our country. The children see it and emulate the
behavior at home, in school, and on the playing field. Adults’ fans and friends
are surprised by either the action or the reaction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Specializations,
entitlement, pay for play, recruiting 12 year olds. Win at all costs, and
cheating all has a very high price to pay in one form shape or another either
right now or in the future. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I’m surprised that most people are surprised.
How did they think this was going to turn out?</span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-69175064100975447902015-12-07T08:10:00.001-08:002015-12-07T08:10:05.555-08:00Is It Really Worth It<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That does
not sound right to me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had another
conversation, with another parent, claiming to have a full ride for their child
athletically. When questioned thoroughly, and my connections to college coaches
explained to him, the parent changes the story. Well, it wasn’t DI and it
wasn’t a full athletic scholarship. My child has great grades. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Are parents
so caught up in the ego and status of having a kid with a scholarship that they
just throw away the truth and hope no one catches them? Are they in a group
where everyone believes them and wants to be able to say they know the kid who
got the athletic scholarship? Do they yearn for status they never had as a non
athlete growing up? Do they spend so much time and money that they feel entitled
to some recognition and status they see other parents getting?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Too bad it
is not like the whisper in the ear around the room conversation. By the time
the last person gets the first person’s saying the whole statement has changed.
Parents, I do not care how much time and money you have spent. Your child’s
athletic career has nothing to do with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The stories
I hear all basically come down to one simple truth. The rules apply to everyone
but me. As long as I get mine, and I can brag about it, even if it means twisting
the truth, so be it. I hear everyone else brag about what they got for their
kid, even though I have no idea if they are telling the truth, so I am going to
brag and exaggerate about my child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I will come
off as an expert on the subject and make you believe that my child could have,
would have, but decided not to, chase the dream we had as a parents for
ourselves. Since they first started playing youth sports, I have been surrounded
by people claiming to have full rides” and that the goal is attainable for my
child. I want to believe them so I will
not verify their tall tales, even though the numbers do not add up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t let
the truth get in the way. That narrative does not help me justify what if, or
at the very least, defend my actions. Up until 30 years ago very few if any
parents felt the need to have this conversation, or did they.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We keep
saying how smart kids are these days. Do not be surprised when your child rebel
because he or she knows what you are doing is not in their best interest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Trust, the base of any relationship, is
compromised. At what cost? Is it really worth it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-323449641134327732015-11-30T09:06:00.003-08:002015-11-30T09:06:48.167-08:00Mirror Mirror on the Wall<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you want
your child playing for that coach<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It has come
to my attention, as more and younger children are being “offered” athletic
scholarships that the coaches and the parents need to look a lot closer into what
is actually going on. Are you being told something just so you have something
to justify your dream not your kid’s future?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The phrase
that college coaches tell parents is that they have to recruit younger and
younger. If they don’t, then there are 5 other coaches who will do it. “I don’t
know if the kid will develop, but we have to do it. By the time they get to
their senior year they might not have the grades to get into our school. I’m
offering scholarships to kids that haven’t even played a minute of high school
varsity sports. I filled up my 2015 class 3 years ago.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s look
at this more closely. Although the data is not in great enough numbers to give
us precise and truly accurate results, there are a growing number of coaches who
are saying this type of </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 21.4667px;">recruiting</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> is not working. What is working is that
coaches have to go to fewer events because youth sports has funneled the early
developed kids to showcases. The college
coaches now have an easier time, less time spent, cheaper way to recruit,
and a set statement to tell parents as
to why their child will not play for their college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you
really want your child to play for a coach who says this? Is this the model of
behavior that you choose for your child for the next four years of their lives?
Do you want them around a coach who is being pressured to do something you
would n to want your child to a part of? Wait, unless you are climbing on the
status wagon with the coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A college
coach cannot fill up this year’s recruiting class three years before. It’s
against the rules. A verbal commitment means nothing except to the parent and
their friends. The NCAA says a child can’t get an athletic scholarship offer
until after their junior year in high school and the get a # from the NCAA
clearing house and eligibility center.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You want to
know why youth and high school sports are out of control. Look in the mirror?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-81679638476504202452015-11-23T11:44:00.001-08:002015-11-23T11:44:10.166-08:00It's not about you<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is not about
you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have
recently been sent numerous messages about coaches not wanting their season to
end. These coaches want to continue to coach, and I like that. BUT, holy cow,
give it a rest with your team. Get some balance in your life and maybe the kids
will too. I am hearing messages about a coach saying that coaching kids is all
he lives for. Another coach says that even though the season is over he wants to
keep coaching this same team. One more coach says he is going to retire and
then admits that he has nothing else to do. One coach says it’s all he lives
for. You don’t want to leave because you miss the limelight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Come on guys
and gals. Coach something else. Coach real young kids. Help reestablish the
base the right way. Introduce fun and equal play to the little kids and show
everyone how that helps ALL kids get better, instead of hurting development. Show
how coaching is about relationships and giving back to the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It really
troubles me when I hear coaches describe who they are through their coaching
position, just as it bothers me when a 10 year old is described as a hockey
player. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where has
the balance gone? Why are these coaches so caught up in the status of their job
as a coach? Are there other problems in their life that they choose to make
their identity as a youth a high school coach paramount to their identity? When
they do that, don’t the kids and parents follow suit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A coach
first and foremost should be a teacher. Very plain, very very simple. They are there
to send the children they coach on their way to adulthood with life skills,
such as coping, stress management, community, and humility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I hear coaches rattling off their win loss
records and championships all the while knowing they were in a league that guaranteed
them a certain amount of victories before the season even began because of the
league they coached in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am
watching coaches wear their team’s gear year round and wanting people to ask
them about the team they coach so they can have status, ego, and attention all
rolled into “It’s all about me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I do not
hear stories anymore from coaches about the late bloomer or the kid who came
out of nowhere to have a great game in a championship. No stories about how no
one would give this kid a chance and we said,” hell yeah, let her play.” Where
is the: “The win was nice but did you see Molly? She played great. She hasn’t played
much this year, but boy is that going to change.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A very wise
college coach once told me this: ALL great coaches have great players. The rest
of us, eventually, are unemployed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let the kids
be the center of attention. Model humble and inclusive behavior for them. The less
serious you are about it the better you will be able to coach it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-43965130114728420012015-11-16T09:58:00.002-08:002015-11-16T09:58:47.309-08:00This Sucks and I am Bitter<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I write this
week’s blog with a heavy heart. There is so much of what I see out there in the
world of youth sports, and society in general, that I wish was not happening.
Today, I want to talk about what children learned when they realized the end of
their career was coming. What would they change about how they did things after
their playing days were over?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> It was brought up to me recently, after one of
my talks, if I thought the kids that got screwed over playing youth and high
school sports, would behave and coach differently than the coaches they had.
Would they play lots of kids? Would they have learned from their journey that
it shouldn’t have been the way they were coached? These kids would have a
chance to stop the Tsunami. My answer was not what he wanted to hear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have
watched over 1000 high school and youth sports games. The new breed of coaches,
and I am only talking about the ones who actually played high school and or
possibly made it to college to play intercollegiate sports. The results have
not been what I had hoped I would see. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Three people
I was very close to all succumbed to different forms of cancer. I talked to all three multiple times before
they died. It’s an awful disease, and I hope researchers find a cure for it
soon. In their last months on earth I was intrigued as to how they would handle their remaining
time. All three either remained themselves in some way shape or form. What
struck me most though, was that all three showed no remorse or any inclination to
make up for what they may have done in their lives. They did not show any
appreciation or even wisdom from what they learned while going through this
tremendously painful journey to the end of their lives. Repeatedly I see
bitterness, angst and short tempers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am now
watching really good kids turn angry on
a moment’s notice from seemingly small slights or misdeeds. Harsh negative
comments abound about the world that they live in now. They fail to see the
connection, or refuse to acknowledge, the tremendous negative impact that their
youth and high school sports experience laid upon them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is time
to hand the games and play back to the children. They need to be able to play
freely with little input and structure from adults at a young age. Let them
develop a base of desired activity that is fun and free. We are raising a
generation of children in and out of sports, who have been told what to do, and
how to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This current
paradigm my friends is not how children learn to be independent thinkers,
creative, balanced, and coping adults.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We want
children, and people in general, to look back over their past and appreciate
the journey as well as trying to leave the world a little bit better place than
when they were here. Peace of mind is victory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s have
some more fun. It’s an awfully long dirt nap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-12739477742638417112015-11-09T09:33:00.001-08:002015-11-09T09:33:44.127-08:00The End Game Truth<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have
worked with, coached, mentored, and interacted with over 5000 kids on this
journey to change the culture of the youth and high school sports environment.
To say it has been a difficult journey so far would be quite an understatement.
These kids and most well intentioned parents and coaches have been caught up in
a Tsunami of epic proportions, that leaves a path of long term destruction the
likes we have not seen in youth and high school sports ever, to this degree. We have not been able to stem the tide as the
problem of specialization, angst, and anger, over spending, injuries, status,
and egos is running rampant. However, even as this problem grows, we here at
Frozen shorts, along with a few others, work to chip away at the false
foundation of youth and high school sports.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the
next three blogs I am going to write about a few kids we have worked with, some
we have observed, and others we have observed and how the journey worked out
for them. Their journey’s are eerily similar as they were promised a pot of
gold at the end of the rainbow, but have since learned that it is not so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hearing
family members related to these kids brag about them and their athletic
endeavors and make believe full athletic scholarships is okay as it shows a
certain loyalty, however misguided. The real problem in our first case is that
the scholarship offer never happened. When confronted with this fact the
defensive actions of certain family members just reinforces why this problem is
becoming more prevalent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You see,
people are told this child got full athletic scholarships that know this kid. They
or people close to them have a child playing that sport. They immediately
think, great for that kid, BUT well IF
my kid specializes, goes to showcases, gets a personal trainer, he/she can get
the mythical DI athletic scholarship/. They don’t, he didn’t and I am the one
coming out of this as the bad guy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Living off a lie is no way for a child to
enter adulthood. There is lots of noise lately about respect, and some of it is
justified. HOWEVER, way more important is trust. At some level, mostly when the
kids get to the next level, they find out that what people were telling them
about their athletic “greatness” was not true. Much of their youth was spent in
a race that doesn’t exist. Then what? These kids don’t know who to trust and how
to cope. Because they lack balance, a key component to success in relationships
and life skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We see they
hangover every day. Play for fun. Stop The Tsunami!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356986216138581716.post-53102043413001075132015-11-02T12:01:00.002-08:002015-11-02T12:01:40.205-08:00Ice Cream<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I love ice
cream. Let me explain. There is a certain ice cream franchise that I took my
wonderful wife to the very first day she moved in to my house. I remember that
day it as our real true anniversary. It was January 21, 1988. Yes, that’s
right, in the dead of winter. The temperature that day was 10 degrees. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The girl
working at the counter said I was the only person she had seen all day, and
that included her boss. My girlfriend at the time, the Saint that she was,
humored me by going out in the bitter cold for ice cream right after she had
moved in. I’m sure it was not her idea of a celebration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have all
the franchises phone numbers listed in my little white book along with rankings
for each store. Friends will email me to check on which one I recommend when
they have friends coming into town, IN THE SUMMER!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I recently
was told this by a parent: “As long as my son keeps his grades up, and he loves
playing this sport, we are going to keep doing it.” He described trips to
Baltimore, which games got rained out or at least shortened, without any angst. They have trips to Washington and Boston
coming up. The tone and inflection in his voice showed ne that he was partnering
with his child in this sport. He loved the status and travel name dropping or
adult Olympics as I call it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There were
other people around when he told me about this, so I did not want to get into a
discussion with him, We are not a gotcha company. I simply gave him my card and
explained that his son could get better at his sport by not playing it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I have seen hundreds of children keep playing
a sport just to get their parents approval!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For you
reading here, let me explain. It is
unhealthy to play one sport year round, travel, elite whatever. Your chid’s
chance of injury increases dramatically. Have you ever flown and it took all
day? Remember how tired you were from just sitting around at the airports and
on the plane? Now think of driving 7 hours in a car ONE WAY, and the effects of
that on a young body. Then they play
multiple games over the weekend, then drive another 7 hours home.Lastly, life
for children is about new experiences, meeting new people; fun, failing coping,
and experimentation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I love ice
cream. I can’t eat it every day, it’s unhealthy. I would get sick of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sports are a
microcosm of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
VJ Stanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510741813189683246noreply@blogger.com0