Home School your kids in youth sports Bring the backyard back!

Home school your kids in youth sports.

Frozen Shorts is rolling out another program for kids and families frustrated by their lack of playing time on organized structure teams. We are encouraging children to play pickup games, made up games, and to have fun. Bring the backyard back.

This ever changing world that our children are growing up in is as fast paced as mankind has ever seen. Heck, I can barely turn my cell phone on and off while most people are using their cell phone as an integral part of their lives.

 Ever go out to dinner and see people with their phones on the table or in their hands talking and texting? We don’t allow that in our household. Embrace family, the time together is short, and needs to be nourished so that it will be a bond later on in life

These kids, more than ever, need coping skills that allow them to integrate these changing roles and technology, to their long term future benefit. What better way than for youth sports to be the vehicle to teach, model, and positively reinforce their abilities to handle failure, mistakes, and problems. The life skills that youth sports should be teaching have been swept aside in a large part and been replaced by a business model that features high tech training, lots of elite travel, and of course status.

Children want to play. Do you remember taking your kids to the playground when they were young? Did you notice how little structure there was? Did you see the kids going to their parents for advice? No, they just played. They figured things out on their own. Yes it was sometimes messy and didn’t work out the way we wanted, but the kids learned to cope. They learned on their own how to adjust and cooperate with the other children.

My daughter, when she was 5 years old, would go to a child on the playground she did not know and ask: “Do you want to be my friend?” How cute! Without me or my wife, they would play for an hour. They laughed and had fun.

 It really is that simple. As the world has got more complex and crazy paced we need to allow children to be children and learn at their own pace and style, not some made up metric provided by a youth sports paradigm that rewards children who happen to be a little bit more coordinated or closer to the birthday cutoff date with the label of a great athlete. Truly, it is a head start in a race that doesn’t exist.

But most importantly, we need to give them back their childhood. They are not mini adults or micro professional athletes. The most certainly are not remote controlled robots attached to adult’s personal joy sticks. They are kids and we should embrace that, not take advantage of it.
 I sign most of my books, “Change has started!” Join us; come on in, the water’s fine!

U.S. versus Portugal

Extra Time:

The U.S. soccer team played a great game on Sunday versus Portugal. The young team started out a little tentative but soon where playing with, and sometimes outplaying their foes. They were ahead in the last 30 seconds of extra time in the game but were tied on a fantastic crossing play by Portugal. But should it have happened?

At the end of regulation time the U.S. purposely stalled for a substitution. It took over a minute for them to complete their change. The referee had signaled that there would be 4 minutes of extra time right before the end of regulation. But because the U.S purposely stalled, he added another minute to the time. The events in that extra added minute cost the U.S. a victory.

The player that was substituted for looked like he stopped limping right after he got to the sideline. No one talked about this time honored tradition of poor sportsmanship from any team leading in a game.

 A couple of other players on both teams were flopping around like they had been shot after they got hit during the contest, only to pop right up and continue on as soon as play resumed. One guy got elbowed in the side of the jaw, but held his face like he had been smashed full frontal force. No one commented on what kind of example this behavior was modeling for the children watching the game on television. 99.9% of the children watching this game saw a behavior from some of the top soccer players in the world to emulate that belied everything we at Frozen Shorts teach on a daily basis.

 Win at all costs, is the new motto. Rationalize and justify entitlement, in whatever form you want. Here’s the catch! But they didn’t win. Over and over I see this form of competition flawed by a concept that everyone should look at it and question. Because you see, not only is the win tainted, if it happens, but in this case, it cost the team a victory. The long term effects on the children, coaches, and parents’ watching the game is huge. Klinsmann says he wants to change the culture. Well why not start here, with sportsmanship as a key component and life lesson of sports.

Ironically, though, after getting blasted by a kicked ball not one player went down in a heap.

After the game was over, interviews took place. No one talked about the fact that the U.S. by stalling affected the outcome of the game.

 But I wish, just one person on the team, or even the coach, would say to the public this: Look we tried a tactic and it backfired. It is a poor example for the kids, parents, coaches and youth sports organizations in general. As a team we vow to never do it again. Even though other teams may employ this tactic, we see the growth of soccer in the U.S, and playing the game with class and sportsmanship the right way to model behavior for the children playing soccer in the U.S. and around the world.

 One interviewer asked the coach if he seconded guessed himself, once again, just like the normally great Bob Costas did in his interview with the owner of the winning horse at the Belmont, a reporter tried to make themselves part of the story with a negative twist that only took away from the  event.

As usual I have some thoughts on how to fix this problem. First, when a player goes down, one camera should follow that player for the next couple of minutes. When he jumps back up the commentators should be instructed by FIFA to talk about what a poor example this is setting for the kids who play soccer, and youth sports.

Next, when a player is hurt, or goes down in a heap, simply stop the clock. That’s right. Stop it and focus on the player. See him look around to see if he got the call. Show the replay and describe what really happened. There are some times when a player is truly injured and he should get top notch medical attention.

Next have on the fly substitution. It is so blatantly obvious that when the team is ahead they both substitute the farthest guy away from the bench, and have him walk so slowly across the field that you would think he needs assistance, all the while knowing the cameras are on him and he can get individual face time. Have a box between the benches on the field and have the player exiting the field step into the box before the replacement comes in.

Yes I know neither of these ideas will be implemented, but then again, the idea is there.

Klinsmann part 2

 The coach has said that wants players on his team that will do whatever it takes to get in better shape, play at a higher level against better talent, I agree with that.

He also states that this program of player first will then make the team better. I disagree. Now at some level I understand that I am splitting hairs. But it is very important to understand the confusing message being sent to young players and coaches around the United States. It is akin to the message of “we play our best players.’ No, you play the players who are playing the best.

In this same context the coach is saying that by having the individual get better the team will benefit, and at some level this is true. However it misses the big picture, and actually the picture that 99.9% of kids playing soccer should see as well as their coaches and parents. It is still a team game. And any successful team will subjugate the individual talent and statistics, and sacrifice the individual’s goal for the long term benefit of the team.

If you don’t believe me, I check out the San Antonio Spurs and their run to the NBA championship. Their stars play less minutes, accrue less individual stats than players in their same position on contending or NON CONTENDING teams, and their unselfish passing is incredible. That dedication to passing and sacrificing individual stats is an integral part of their success. They even take less money to play in San Antonio to be around other players and a coach who subscribe to the team first mantra, and to be in a place that helps them have an excellent chance to win.

At Frozen Shorts we constantly talk about if the team plays better, the individual will get better. It is stated that it takes a whole village to raise a child. We say it takes a whole village modeling behavior in the long term best interest of the child to raise children in a community.

Now on the world stage it may very well be that the great players elevate their game to an amazingly high level during a game. But, that is for a much chosen few. That talent cannot be bought, and it comes at quite a price as you can see from listening and watching athletes talk and play.

With no players ranked in the top 100 in the world, the U.S. is ripe for the very kind of thing we love, the underdog.

It is this dynamic, all across the sports world that actually fuels the inner team competition so vital for long term athletic development of our young athletes.

But I also believe strongly that the coach has set this team up so that just the opposite can happen. Players unexpectedly could rise up in what could be a one bracket only tournament for the U.S. squad. But it is my contention, just as we see in the World Series, The Super bowl, or even the Stanley Cup playoffs, is the rise of a certain individual who sparks a team’s success.

This individual did not suddenly get better. What he did get was a chance, once again proving our belief at Frozen Shorts, that  a coach, a team, an organization has to keep running players out on the field, court,  or rink, to find out who is going to be able to play their best when their time arrives. And they cannot do that if they have been sitting on the bench all year.

This belief in true competition, not another form of entitlement, is what has been missing in youth and high school sports for years, and I truly hope that Mr. Klinsmann and his squad bring it to the forefront whether on purpose or by accident for all to see.

Let the players have fun and teach them to play together and the resulting journey, and what is learned along that journey will enlighten and or surprise you.

Klinsmann and the journey

 Interesting debate going on after the national soccer team’s coach made the statement that “we can’t win the world cup.”  Some people seem to be quite offended by this statement. Others have seen this and questioned whether this is “UN American.” Others state that it is a tactical maneuver by the coach.

Let’s take a look at what he said before he said what he said. (Whoa) He stated that they team would have to play “seven games of their lives” to have chance to win the cup. Interesting to say the least. If you read the whole article from the New York Times a different picture emerges.

While some people say that you should never tell your team they can’t win, or state it publicly. You are admitting defeat before you even start. Maybe, maybe not. There are times as a coach; you know your team is not going to e in contention for a championship season. How do you address that paradigm?

Do you practice with your team each day trying to win something that day? Do you try to get better yourself? Do you try and make the team better. Have you ever played against a team knowing they were better and that you really had no chance at victory? Did that knowledge make you fold up your tent and quit? Did it make you try harder? Even though, at the end of the day, and you lost, didn’t the fact that you persevered, and put forth your best effort, teach you and your teammates a life lesson? Did you get better?

When my college team played in a particular championship playoff game we got beat 12-1. With 10 minutes to go in the game we still had not scored. I pulled the goalie when we got a power play. I knew we couldn’t win, my team knew, the refs knew, hell everybody knew, but that did not stop us from trying our hardest.

Never once in the 21 years as a head coach in college hockey, did I ever say to my team we had to win, or we couldn’t win. We never discussed winning. It is a result at the end of a journey, a hoped for destination.

Oh sure I have played and coached some games where a team just gave up. The score got lopsided and you could see the emotion and passion leave one or BOTH teams. It happens.

But if you look more closely and listen to what this man has to say, he is making a point, I believe, that has a direct bearing on our children and what we teach at Frozen Shorts every day.

 It is about the journey. You can’t always win. You want to test someone’s character? Put them in what appears to be a very difficult situation and see how they react. If they react well, just imagine how well they would react when things got better, when their base for handling adversity is much higher.

I believe what the coach is saying is that we put too much emphasis on scores of game. Since no one really knows how to win a game, he is saying that the only thing you can control is getting better, and that takes time and may or may not be judged by the final score in a game. He is not saying that you shouldn’t try your hardest.  But what he is also saying is a statement on US soccer in general. You should compete, and compete hard, no matter what the situation is, and the adversity that follows.

There are no genetic differences between athletes here in the USA, Europe, and South America.

Think about it. 

Landon Donovan part II

Am I to believe that somehow genetically European soccer players have some sort of genetic gift that inexplicably has a root in them being born in one part of the world over another that allows them to play soccer better than here in the United Sates? How would that be possible since we are talking about a micro second in the history of the world to make this dramatic genetic change.

No one is entitled to playing time based on what they have done in the past. When a player is not playing well, other players should be given a chance to play, and if they play well, they should have earned more playing time in the eyes of the coach, regardless of their stats on the team.

Over and over again, I see in youth and high school sports, one or two players getting preferential treatment on a team based on their reputation, not their present day performance. What I see, and others may not, is the detrimental effect this philosophy has on the player being given that treatment, and the other players suffering because of it.

There is a mentality in sports, driven by the amount of money, which certain players, once they have achieved a certain status, are entitled to play their way through any problems they have. Even if there is a conflict with the coach, or a certain “air” about the player, they should be allowed to play more than the other layers because they are perceived to be more talented. NO

I have said on many occasions in talks I have given and the workshops I do, that I would bench my mother in the last five minutes of a game if she was playing poorly and it wouldn’t faze me. And I want to go on the record as saying I am a HUGE momma’s boy, and proud of it. I love that woman with my entire heart and soul. I could never thank her enough for what she did for me growing up and I think about her every day. I am so appreciative to what she and my father taught me.

If we truly want to find out who the best is, there has to be repeated chances for those who may not be at the top talent level to get to play. Their play and enthusiasm are an essential part of any teams make up and for any business to embrace. Too many times I see someone, based on reputation, being given special preferential treatment, or demanding it, while others, who may not be as talented, but bring other benefits to the table, sit around and “wait their turn” like that is not just another form of entitlement, or the rules apply to everyone but me.

Pre puberty let them all play equally, and learn to play together with the freedom to experiment with different sports and activities. Let them enjoy playing and learning how to get along with others. Let them know that making mistakes is okay, and that at the end of the day everyone involved should be having fun and enjoying themselves, not worrying about status and the mythical D I scholarship.

That is the base needed to develop future champions and leaders. Even for those who just want to play and have fun, let’s give them repeated chances to do so. We need to encourage with positive reinforcement, a child’s innate ability and desire to try new things, cope with failure, and adjust and grow at their pace not ours. It takes all kinds to make this world go, and that involves inclusion, not exclusion all the way up to age 13.