RUBBER
NECKING
We tend to look around for the
outrageous and the outlandish as a way to vent frustration about what’s happening
in our own day to day existence. We can say, “Hey, I’m not so bad after all!”
or “What a jerk that guy is!” but still pay attention to his or her
behavior. The athlete can be categorized
in many negative ways. But what we don’t
understand is that when we do that, we are giving the athlete the attention he
or she craves to fuel continued poor behavior.
It emboldens them. Gives them the
attention they are craving so they keep doing it. They get the short term attention they
desire. It becomes like a drug. They need more and more of it with less and
less benefits and satisfaction. Be
careful we do not do the same kinds of things with our children and
athletes. Try to not reinforce negative
behavior. By continuing to play a player
when they are playing poorly, just because they are one of your more talented
players, a coach reinforces the fact that if you play poorly, and are talented,
you get special treatment.
Some athletes think just like
Madison Avenue. Any publicity is good
publicity. When coaches keep giving attention to poor behavior on and off the
field, we encourage more of the same kind of behavior. It is really basic. If a child misbehaves and the coaches keep
talking to the child, making excuses for the behavior instead of disciplining
the bad behavior, they just reinforce the behavior. A long winded lecture has
the same result. The child sees our response as getting our attention so he
continues the behavior. Whether it is
positive or negative attention, he’s still getting the attention he
craves. Frustration then grows. Coaches
then resort to harsh tactics to verify frustration at the child when in reality
the frustration is within. The coach is
enabling the child to disable his own growth.
The situation can become untenable. The coach gets frustrated, the child gets
frustrated…the cycle continues.
Hard work and effort should be
rewarded as much as talent. In the long
term, the life skills messages taught far outweigh the benefits of a short term
win. It’s all about teamwork, effort, and having fun. When you follow the rules and don’t try to be
above them, when you set the example instead of being the exception, it is then
that you realize the true purpose of youth sports. It is enlightenment not entitlement.
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