TRAIN WRECK COMING

 TRAIN WRECK

This is a story about a young man’s journey through a season. What started out as a wonderful experience, tumbled downhill and ultimately led to an ejection in the championship game. I have been watching this young man, a good athlete and a good kid, for a couple of years now. I was truly curious to see what happened both mentally and physically.  He comes from an excellent family as both parents are really good people.

So it is wise to remember:  bad things can happen to good people, and as always, this could be any kid in any sport. I see it constantly in my research, and when I do my consulting work.

Many children get into these situations and it is the job of those around them to point out quietly and with little emotion what is going on, the effects of it, and how to correct it. Otherwise, as you will see, a small, easily correctible problem can spiral downhill in a hurry.

Sometimes, and more often than not, a child’s ability or perceived status can become very detrimental to their development. Entitlement, a very detrimental mind set, creeps into the minds of many concerned, well meaning people and excuses are made so that many “look the other way” and use the excuse that he or she is just a kid, or even worse they “laugh if off” and don’t see the connection from this early behavior to the later stages of cheap shots and self righteousness.

The first crack in the armor came during a game in which this young man scored a bunch of goals. Finally, after his last goal which he then played to the crowd, he was targeted by the other team and received a shot that knocked him out of the game. This seemed to me to be a clear retaliation for the showboating on the earlier goals.

When he got back into the lineup, his scoring prowess slowed greatly. He did not rack up the goals and assists that he had earlier. Frustration mounted and he seemed to handle it all in a very mature fashion.

Then another incident happened, and I was struck by how this fine young man was gesturing to officials and complaining about calls.

Then in the semi finals one of his teammates got whacked, and he immediately raised his hand for the official to call a penalty thus blowing an easy scoring chance by not being ready and being distracted. In the finals he was given a penalty and then later, near the end of the game, he took a penalty that resulted in his ejection and a severe injury to the player on the other team that he hit.

He showed little remorse for his actions and even demonstrated the hit to his friends. Even after a scolding by administrators, he did not show the humility and awareness of the severity of his actions.

Again, I stress that this specific story has played out over and over in the 1000 or so athletic events I have attended over the years and the purpose of this essay is to educate people, some who may not get “it” for a few days or weeks, and may never get “it.”

But as you know it is not my job as President of Frozen Shorts to decide when, how, or even if the light goes on for those involved in youth sports. My job is to just keep" flippin the switch."

You can buy VJs book, Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports through VJs website, FROZENSHORTS.com follow him on twitter @VJJStanley, like him on Facebook at frozenshorts, or contact him at vj@frozenshorts.com to book him for your group organization, or team for his consulting services, speaking engagements, and seminars or just to talk about youth sports.