Starting Positions Part III

To say that I had gotten over what I saw unfold during that game yesterday would have been untrue. I was troubled the whole day. I began to realize if I wasthis upset, how this must affect the children, coaches, and parents attending and playing in these events on a regular basis.

 How, even subconsciously must this wear and tear at them beneath the surface and then come out in some other time and place where they do not even realize the connection to what goes on in these games and to the angst and short term hair trigger outbursts of negativity that, seemingly to the outsider and uninformed, have no basis for such a reaction?

Or even worse, since most people connected to, or associated with, this kind of regular youth sports event, have become numb to its long term effect on their lives, they see it as status quo and just part of their youth sports experience.  

Almost a badge of honor to say I have it worse than you. You have no idea how bad my kid got screwed, so I have no problem with entitlement, of course, as long as me and my kid are the ones receiving preferential treatment. But if it is entitlement for you, or just call it “politics” I’m even more indignant.

If your kid has to sit so that my kid plays more, tough, deal with it because it happened to me too! And what you are seeing because of this mind set is a devaluation of the journey, fun, team work and community.

College coaches see it and are talking about it more and more. Go ask them, I do!

 There it is, just like in everyday life. Whether it is at work with jerk boss, on the commute where the idiot cuts you off or cuts in and doesn’t wave thank you, or the lack of a directional signal, too bad, I got it worse!

Then I see it in the homes I’m called into consult. The parents so want what’s best for their children but are overzealous and sometimes abusive. Or to the parent who thinks their child is the next big thing and over indulge the athlete with everything except discipline and the importance of sharing in the journey, and balance. And on and on it goes.

My day was long an arduous. I made and received calls at my office and sent out some more of the Ryan Callahan video interviews I had done to various outlets in the United States and Canada. But I did not have any fun that day. None, Zip, Zero. Just writing about it makes me feel uncomfortable all over again. One of the reasons I love my job so much is that I get to work with kids, keep my hand in sports, and hopefully, make a difference in people’s lives. And I hope to leave this place a little better than when I got here.

But I digress.

The phone rings. It’s the coach. He wants to talk. Seems he got more complaints after he went back to playing the best players. The kids on the team who didn’t get to play any more were very unhappy, and so were their parents. The game stopped being fun for the kids.

The next thing he told me was really troublesome. His best player and I use that term loosely, had complained to him after the game about his playing time. He stated that the score didn’t have to be that close, if HE had been playing the whole game. His parents agreed he said as they had texted him from the stands during the game and the text was waiting for him when he got back to the locker room.

I said did you see any indication that this player was unhappy during the game? He shook his head no. The he said” it doesn’t matter what I do, someone is always unhappy.

 It seems to me that the boy was o.k. with the way things went, but once he got his father’s text, he knew he better say something or feel the wrath of his father on the ride home.

The very next game he went back to his old ways. He ran up the score, yelled instructions to his players constantly, even getting a technical foul. It was sad to watch. I left at half time discouraged. Two boys had not gotten to play in the first half and they sat at the end of the bench dejected and angry.

The parents in the stands were yelling at the referees and yelling instructions to their children while they were playing. I watched this and thought, really?

Next week: the conclusion!

Frozen Short’s contact information:

You can follow VJ on twitter @VJJStanley, go to his website frozenshorts.com to read other blogs and see video interviews of Doctors, Athletes, coaches, and more. You can follow him on face book, or contact him at vj@frozenshorts.com.  Hiss book: Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports is available in E-Reader and paperback through his website frozenshorts.com