You really want to get a point
across to your players? Get really quiet. They have to lean in if they want to
hear you, and if you are the type of person that is always loud enough to be heard
over the roar of a playing arena, show them that this point is important enough
to warrant a drastic, yet logical and calm, change in your behavior. You want
to let them know you are upset? Show them you are disappointed. It is one of
the worst feelings ever to know that someone you trust and that trusts you is
disappointed in you. The guilt alone should do your work for you, without
needing to lose your voice at the end of a practice or game.
I wanted to go to soccer practice,
which was only two or three times a week, because I was surrounded by people
who praised me when I did something right, helped me correct what was wrong,
made me laugh, and made me feel like I was an integral part of a team. I didn’t
want to play for my high school team because the coach believed in little more
than winning, and building a team community was NOT on her priority list. I
didn’t want to play for a coach who wouldn’t play her players based on
performance, but rather the place she believed they deserved based on their
talent. This is a type of entitlement, one that “old-school” coaches believe in
so they can stop the ridiculous “embarrassment” they think follows poor playing
or lack of talent.
Most kids join a team at a young
age because they want to have a good time with their friends and because they
want to feel like they belong somewhere. An “old-school” coach takes both of
those things away from the child, and so they quit, rightly so, to find other
avenues that will give them those feelings.
Another argument she makes is that
people in the real world will not boost her kids’ egos, so if they get used to
it early, they will know how to deal with it. Another load of crap. Yes, my
parents and my coaches told me when I wasn’t doing my best, and yes, not
everyone in the real world has the opinion of me that my parents do. But by not
yelling at me and being derogative, they taught me how to examine their point
of view, find the truth in it, and apply it to my life. If I had an
“old-school” coach, I would be filled with anger and resentment, and every time
someone tried to tell me what I did wrong, that anger would be brought back,
blinding me to the truth in their words.
Being scared of parents who pamper
their kids instead of subjecting them to these awful coaches and allows them to
get fat off that pampering is a bit extreme, but understandable. However, I
would argue that, because you are against one extreme, the other is better? Not
wanting to be a hover craft and a military tank type of parent, destroying all
opposition and negativity that could touch their child before it happens, is
also understandable. My parents didn’t want to let anything bad happen to me,
but they let me fall when I was a child and make mistakes because they knew
they could fix it if I couldn’t figure out how. But they had the patience,
trust, and belief in me to let me try.
I am a former club swimmer, as well
as a youth hockey and little league baseball player, and the product of six
years of travel soccer. I never played for my high school team, preferring my
travel soccer team, and I do not play for my college.
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