It's not about you

It is not about you

I have recently been sent numerous messages about coaches not wanting their season to end. These coaches want to continue to coach, and I like that. BUT, holy cow, give it a rest with your team. Get some balance in your life and maybe the kids will too. I am hearing messages about a coach saying that coaching kids is all he lives for. Another coach says that even though the season is over he wants to keep coaching this same team. One more coach says he is going to retire and then admits that he has nothing else to do. One coach says it’s all he lives for. You don’t want to leave because you miss the limelight.

Come on guys and gals. Coach something else. Coach real young kids. Help reestablish the base the right way. Introduce fun and equal play to the little kids and show everyone how that helps ALL kids get better, instead of hurting development. Show how coaching is about relationships and giving back to the game.

It really troubles me when I hear coaches describe who they are through their coaching position, just as it bothers me when a 10 year old is described as a hockey player.

Where has the balance gone? Why are these coaches so caught up in the status of their job as a coach? Are there other problems in their life that they choose to make their identity as a youth a high school coach paramount to their identity? When they do that, don’t the kids and parents follow suit?

A coach first and foremost should be a teacher. Very plain, very very simple. They are there to send the children they coach on their way to adulthood with life skills, such as coping, stress management, community, and humility.

 I hear coaches rattling off their win loss records and championships all the while knowing they were in a league that guaranteed them a certain amount of victories before the season even began because of the league they coached in.

I am watching coaches wear their team’s gear year round and wanting people to ask them about the team they coach so they can have status, ego, and attention all rolled into “It’s all about me.”

I do not hear stories anymore from coaches about the late bloomer or the kid who came out of nowhere to have a great game in a championship. No stories about how no one would give this kid a chance and we said,” hell yeah, let her play.” Where is the: “The win was nice but did you see Molly? She played great. She hasn’t played much this year, but boy is that going to change.”

A very wise college coach once told me this: ALL great coaches have great players. The rest of us, eventually, are unemployed.

Let the kids be the center of attention. Model humble and inclusive behavior for them. The less serious you are about it the better you will be able to coach it.