Playing Time

I had a conversation with a parent about her son. He had made the varsity team and was not playing. Certain things may or may not have been said while he was playing junior varsity, but as I explained, that is in the past.

The parent wanted to know what she should do. I understand that parents want what’s best for their children. I do too. But what a life lesson their son is learning in this environment. He will be faced with adversity in his adult life and this is a good, safe place for him to learn that life is not fair.

He is a good student and the parents run the risk of putting so much emphasis on this that he loses his value of getting great grades.

You see, it really is none of the parents business. I know this is harsh. I could write to you  about all the grey areas involved here but the bottom line for 99% of the children playing youth sports, is that the it is the child’s choice, the child’s life, and any problems he should deal with on his own.

This is not to say I am not sympathetic with the parents’ plight. Their son has shown a acumen to play sports and the parents have spent a lot of money and time with him doing this activity. But it was their choice. And now when they see something they don’t like or may be unfair they react. To their credit, they came to me first.

When a younger player was called up that too irked them. Maybe I said your son could befriend this kid. How cool would that be?

Maybe you could stop going to the games and sitting in the stands. I have seen parents trying not to make a scene, but there body language says they are. They shake their head, fidget in their seats, and secretly hope another child makes a mistake so their son can get in.

It’s really just another form of entitlement. If another parent intervened with their child, although if they were a friend they would be sympathetic, they would see that parent looking to get an edge, and they would not like it. The rules apply to everyone but me.

Now let’s say this boy goes on to play college ball and as a freshman has a chance to play. The coach plays a senior because he’s a senior over their child. Roles reversed. How do you feel then?

I know this is difficult. But your child is going to face these problems later on in life at work and in relationships and isn't this an excellent place, a safe place for him to learn on his own, how to cope with adversity isn't this a great place for him to find his own path? Isn't this a great place for him to figure out how to deal with problems in a group setting?