Trophies for Everyone

Trophies for everyone

At each and every presentation I am asked about my opinion on whether or not trophies should be handed out to all the children participating in a youth sports game. My answer is no. Not only do I not think that all the kids should get a trophy, I do not believe that the adults in charge of these children’s activities should even keep score. Before the age of 13 it should be equal play.

Putting an extrinsic value on child’s play is a relatively new concept. Whether it be in the form of a trophy, or in a fancy new uniform or organizational gear, the belief that a child should have his or her self worth determined by something they are wearing or getting materialistically , is not backed by any science or child psychology. Giving a child a trophy to let him or her know whatever they do requires some kind of recognition or external reward goes against the very proven concept that children need to learn from internal realization and not external forces.

Science, psychology and even data gleaned from studies on childhood behavior over centuries,  not just the last 30 years, does not support the current youth sports dynamic as being a safe, healthy, educational path ,and journey for most children participating. On the contrary it is becoming in the words of the Chief of Pediatrics/Orthopeadics at URMC a national health problem.

Children grow and understand at different times and at different paces. To lop them all together into a situation that requires then to compete against each other in the very atmosphere that that should be learning cooperation and sharing to build a stronger self, is against the very nature of childhood growth and long term development. Giving them a trophy for that only confuses them.

The belief that somehow an adult youth sports coach can come in and teach children how to win and the consequences and benefits of winning and losing, when even the very top professional coaches and team owners don’t know how to win, is amusing at best and in reality quite impossible and frustrating to understand. So the reaction to this was, well we have to do something, so let’s give them all trophies. No.

Let the kids play for fun. Let them learn from each other. Allow them to fall down, get up and learn from their mistakes and failures, without the needless extrinsic pressure of winning and losing.

 A trophy at the end of a game or tournament is just another misguided and certainly not scientific or psychologically based reaction by adults to put their feelings and egos into a child’s play and fun, and make everything nice nice for their kids. It really is just another form of entitlement. The trophy just ends being put in the basement or worse, as part of a shrine reminding the child that their life is tied to a great extent to their youth sports journey. Hey, no pressure there.

 It is psychologically proven that children are creative and learn more when left alone to their own path and journey with less structure and more freedom. When this environment is created, children will literally play all day by themselves, or at least until they are exhausted, or called home for dinner.

Guidance in the form of positive support and having to have your child be the best in that small myopic group you call a youth sports or high school team has thrown this whole journey out of whack.

 At frozen Shorts, we are bringing the backyard back. Coming soon, we hope, to a community near you.