FUN engages the MIND!

Any team has certain dynamics that change through the course of a practice, game, and season. The key component to any successful season,  (you notice I did not say WINNING season because you can’t control who wins and losses so stop concentrating on it so much)) is that the players have trust with the coach and each other.

Then you want to have the experience be fun. Kids play for fun. They are not mini adults or remote controlled robots attached to a coach's personal joy stick. They are kids. Embrace who they are as kids and allow them to be creative. Teach them the difference between making a mistake and failure

Kids are naturally competitive, Put 10 kids at the end line of a basketball court and one sheet pizza at the opposing foul line, no coach needs to do any coaching there, no structure needed. Blow a whistle and watch em go!

So how do you get the trust? And it is trust, not respect. Because trust is reciprocal and that's what fuels success. You do it by embracing Inner team competition. No entitlement. He who plays best plays most.   70% of your most talented player (notice I did not say best player) is not better than 100% from another player who is sitting. That’s not fair completion, and that’s how coaches and team’s start to have cracks in their foundation. Nobody who dresses for a game sits on the bench the whole game. The human body does not fully develop until 22, 23, and 24 so to say a player is a sub, or a bench guy is not supported by medical facts. Nobody gets better sitting on the bench watching, nobody!

 We all love and have seen the late bloomer. If a good player screws up the next guy goes in. It’s called play by performance. At Frozen Shorts we teach this every day here is my interview with SoccerNation that fully explains how we operate and what we concentrate on in our talks, workshops, seminars and coaching clinics.

SoccerNationhttp://www.soccernation.com/playing-for-fun-cms-3412

Because if something is really true, it is true across the board, not just for hockey or any sport. This paradigm includes academics, dance, violin, music, etc.

Too many times we manage our kids to our expectations not their needs. Let them be creative and have fun. That is the optimum time for growth both mental and physical!

You can buy VJs book, Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports through VJs website, FROZENSHORTS.com follow him on twitter @VJJStanley, like him on Face book at frozenshorts, or contact him at vj@frozenshorts.com to book him for your group organization, or team for his consulting services, speaking engagements, and seminars or just to talk about youth sports.

Rick Wolff Youth Sports Expert Book review from askcoachwolff.com

BOOK REVIEW: STOP THE TSUNAMI IN YOUTH SPORTS BY V.J. STANLEY

Posted by Rick Wolff on March 15, 2013 · 3 Comments 

Over the last 20 years, as the issues surrounding youth sports in this country have reached bizarre and at times disturbing heights, there have been a number of individuals who have felt compelled to write books about this national epidemic.

I know this, because I am one of those people. My first book on what was wrong with youth sports, GOOD SPORTS, was first published in 1992. Since then, I have done several more.

But I am not alone in my writing efforts. There have been a number of worthy books on the same topic. Some of these works have merely mirrored what we already know about our nation which seems to have lost its sense of priorities. Other books have pointed out that there are all sorts of studies that show that we’re going down the wrong path with our kids.

All of these books, of course, share a singular theme – that we, as American sports parents, are doing a real disservice to our kids when it comes to sports in the 21st century.

But then you find a book from V.J. Stanley, who brings a breath of fresh air into this very emotional topic. Stanley, a former top amateur athlete himself and who hails from Rochester, NY, has spent the last few years researching and looking for solutions to the everyday concerns of parents and coaches who are involved in youth sports, and he has penned a poignant and passionate plea to right the ship and to get back to what sports are supposed to be about - specifically, kids having fun. Like so many of us, V.J. wonders how today’s parents and coaches seem to have lost their moral compass when it comes to kids in sports today.

Of course, the goal of kids just having fun is not easy to reach these days. Not with parental dreams of athletic scholarships, pro contracts, and the like seemingly right on the horizon. Too much emphasis is put on the rewards at the end, not during the years of development.

Intellectually, we all know that it’s too easy to become caught up with the dream of hoping that our child will be that magical one who will become the next LeBron James or Mia Hamm.  Let’s face it – parents are emotional beings, and Stanley makes his case that we absolutely need to maintain our perspective as best we can. Along the way, Stanley provides insights into coping with tryouts, provides coaching tips, how we can instill in our kids a sense of doing the right thing, and much more. Indeed, this is one of those sports parenting books that really covers all the bases.

If you’d like to find out more about V.J. Stanley, or how to order a copy of his excellent book, go to his websitewww.frozenshorts.com.

TRAIN WRECK COMING

 TRAIN WRECK

This is a story about a young man’s journey through a season. What started out as a wonderful experience, tumbled downhill and ultimately led to an ejection in the championship game. I have been watching this young man, a good athlete and a good kid, for a couple of years now. I was truly curious to see what happened both mentally and physically.  He comes from an excellent family as both parents are really good people.

So it is wise to remember:  bad things can happen to good people, and as always, this could be any kid in any sport. I see it constantly in my research, and when I do my consulting work.

Many children get into these situations and it is the job of those around them to point out quietly and with little emotion what is going on, the effects of it, and how to correct it. Otherwise, as you will see, a small, easily correctible problem can spiral downhill in a hurry.

Sometimes, and more often than not, a child’s ability or perceived status can become very detrimental to their development. Entitlement, a very detrimental mind set, creeps into the minds of many concerned, well meaning people and excuses are made so that many “look the other way” and use the excuse that he or she is just a kid, or even worse they “laugh if off” and don’t see the connection from this early behavior to the later stages of cheap shots and self righteousness.

The first crack in the armor came during a game in which this young man scored a bunch of goals. Finally, after his last goal which he then played to the crowd, he was targeted by the other team and received a shot that knocked him out of the game. This seemed to me to be a clear retaliation for the showboating on the earlier goals.

When he got back into the lineup, his scoring prowess slowed greatly. He did not rack up the goals and assists that he had earlier. Frustration mounted and he seemed to handle it all in a very mature fashion.

Then another incident happened, and I was struck by how this fine young man was gesturing to officials and complaining about calls.

Then in the semi finals one of his teammates got whacked, and he immediately raised his hand for the official to call a penalty thus blowing an easy scoring chance by not being ready and being distracted. In the finals he was given a penalty and then later, near the end of the game, he took a penalty that resulted in his ejection and a severe injury to the player on the other team that he hit.

He showed little remorse for his actions and even demonstrated the hit to his friends. Even after a scolding by administrators, he did not show the humility and awareness of the severity of his actions.

Again, I stress that this specific story has played out over and over in the 1000 or so athletic events I have attended over the years and the purpose of this essay is to educate people, some who may not get “it” for a few days or weeks, and may never get “it.”

But as you know it is not my job as President of Frozen Shorts to decide when, how, or even if the light goes on for those involved in youth sports. My job is to just keep" flippin the switch."

You can buy VJs book, Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports through VJs website, FROZENSHORTS.com follow him on twitter @VJJStanley, like him on Facebook at frozenshorts, or contact him at vj@frozenshorts.com to book him for your group organization, or team for his consulting services, speaking engagements, and seminars or just to talk about youth sports.

MYTH BUSTINGm THE YOUTH SPORTS PARADIGM

I have been going to athletic events regularly for the past five years. By regularly I mean at least three practices or games a week for at least 40 weeks out of the year, sometimes two or three in a day. What I saw, which used to only be seen at the collegiate and professional ranks, was so constant and so overwhelming that I decided to write a book about youth sports and what could be done to change the paradigm back to play for fun with balanced excellence.

I have heard coaches say that they coach to win and they do that because that’s what their kids want them to do.  I hear coaches saying the game is too important to play certain children, even five minutes in a contest. Athletes are saying they only play to win when they don’t even have a solid definition of the word and its consequences and ramifications. However, most of the children we talk to and most of the national polls say that kids just want to have fun and play. Seventy percent say they don’t even care if the score is kept.

Technical fouls, ejections, suspensions, coaches constantly yelling instructions to the athletes playing, players mouthing off to officials and coaches, coaches berating players and officials for losses, fights in the stands and on the field, and parents blasting their kids before, during and after games on the ride home all add up to a cauldron of abuse simmering, and sometimes exploding, during youth sports games. At least, that’s my opinion.

The belief that the more you ramp up the pressure, the more you specialize, the more you play on an “elite” team, the better these little guys and girls will perform, is counterproductive to every professional’s opinion that we have talked to in Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports (the title of my book).  Elementary teachers with a decade of experience, physical education instructors all with Masters in Education, certified athletic trainers, sports psychologists, college coaches, and professional athletes all say that this is not the way to raise our children, on or off the playing field.

Since puberty changes everything, and only about 10% of the children who are “good” at the age of 10 are “good” at eighteen, it is amazing how many kids sit on the bench to massage the coach’s ego. Combine this with the fact that the male and female bodies don’t fully develop until the children are in their early to mid-twenties, and you have more ingredients for this recipe of disaster in youth sports.

Most coaches have little or no formal training when they agree to coach in youth sports. They are going to be coaching their kids and they volunteer, sometimes reluctantly, to coach. The only real tangible model they have to follow is on television in the collegiate or professional ranks. These highly paid professionals are not in any way, shape, or form in a parallel universe from which these coaches can emulate their behavior. There is no relationship between what is going on and what needs to be taught at the youth level, with college and professional sports.

Some of these well intentioned coaches get an eyeful as to what they are getting into when they go to the first “draft” or tryout. Behind the scenes deals are being made, upfront manipulations of rosters are being handed to them as they sit confused and bewildered about the proceedings. At the first practice, new kids are not given the same chances as returning players, as coaches, parents, and organizations maneuver to put a “winning” team on the field, court, or rink.

Most everyone gets caught up in this vicious cycle of more is better, my kid is better than your kid, and specialization, not balance, is the key to children becoming D I athletes. This cycle is really disingenuous to the process of children growing up to be productive adults.

With the average professional athletes’ life expectancy playing at that level being about 4 years, and the average salary being about $80, 000, a new breed of athlete is being groomed that feel they are entitled and deserve the accolades and trophies they receive. The reality of the situation is that they are not the “best”, they are just the “best” of those who can afford to pay and want to go through the hassle to travel all over in hopes of gaining the mythical DI athletic scholarship and pro career.

Video after video on our website, frozenshorts.com, debunk the myth that more is better. Athletes and coaches from college and the professional ranks continually and repeatedly shoot down the specialized “elite” travel model as being injurious, both mentally and physically to our children’s long term mental and physical health.

At Frozen Shorts we have instituted the frozenshorts training method (F.S.T.M.) where we put fun back into youth sports and into everyone’s journey through this time in their lives. We have just rolled out S.L.F.F. a new basic fundamental philosophy applicable to parents, players, and coaches of all ages and backgrounds, where Safety, Love, Fun and Friendship are the key building blocks to long term success.

Its it a business? No, its youth sports!

Stress, infighting, jealousy, exhaustion, loss of jobs or positions, betrayal, out of control spending, loss of status, personal well-being sacrificed in the name of financial gain, and the benefit of few at the expense of many. All of these have become common place in the world in which we live. Are we talking about a corporation?

 NO. We are talking about youth sports.

The youth sports landscape has changed dramatically over the last thirty years. Some people write it off as a new social phenomenon when in actuality it is very much a man made disease.

All these things I have described in the previous paragraphs used to be pretty much exclusive to our corporate world, government, and TV soap operas.

 When we were talking about having youth sports teach our children life skills is this really what we had in mind?

Let’s look at the facts. Seventy percent of the children playing youth sports at the age of 10 quit by the time they are 13. The uninformed say that it is because of many reasons, but a study of 28,000 children by Michigan State University, and our own independent study, say that it is because the children are not having any fun. They are not getting to play.

Many parents, families, teams and organizations fight for status and short term wins at the expanse of our children’s long term mental and physical development.

Obesity has quadrupled over the last 20 years and about 30% of the children born after the year 2000 are headed for Type II diabetes, and yet we still head down this road of short sightedness for the benefit of a few at the expense of many.

The long term consequences can be seen strewn all over the landscapes as the reality of ONLY 1% of all the students who attend a four year college play intercollegiate athletics at the DI level, and only half of them play for free.

Children are dropping out of school when their dreams are crushed and the resulting hangover is having a devastating effect on our children’s long term ability to cope with change, adjust to not being the “chosen one”, and the resulting mental and physical effects of their pursuit of a dream that should never have gotten to the point of specialization at the expense of balance.

At Frozen Shorts we are putting the fun back into youth sports for ALL concerned. Our programs are reaching out across the country, across social, economic, and financial barriers to once again unite the young people in this country towards a common goal of benefitting from the journey of being a kid by having fun and just being a kid.

These children are not mini adults or micro professional athletes. They are not remote controlled robots attached to personal adult joy sticks.

We hold true to the belief that we are a community and the long term mental and physical well being and health of this future generation can be enhanced and proliferated by playing, socializing, and working for a common goal regardless of your background. Being active and having fun  once again will become a priority to be enjoyed by all, not twisted and bent for the individual personal gain of a few.