The Truth: It is what's best for the children's journey

1% of 1% of kids who play sports go pro. Its a race that doesn’t exist. Its like playing the lottery to win! Just heard a kid say he wanted to play for his HS over club team so he could hear the fans from his school and talk to his friends and classmates about the game in school the next day. The kids inherently want to experience life skills! Ever seen a 2nd grade teacher with a Masters degree try to get her kids to line up properly to go to gym or lunch? Now you want to tell me that there is a realistic and not adult made up elite 2nd grade travel sports? Parents: ever had an older child take something from a younger child? Ever had them share? Which do you have to teach them to do more often, to be competitive or to get along? The best learning environment is when the teacher and the student learn together, and both share that knowledge with others who have the same or less ability. It’s called community, and it is very important for later on in life coping skills. Sometimes you have to treat the symptom to relax the patient first. Then we treat the disease. We need more tolerance and inclusion, not eliteness and exclusion.

The Stanford Rape Case and the Entitlement Culture

Much has been written about this case, and deservedly so. I have what I believe to be a different perspective on the matter. What I want to know about this case is why very few people are talking about the culture that had to exist for this to happen. Let me explain.

I want to know what kind of culture exists that, when a person is intoxicated at a party, there is no support system for that person to be helped home or at least help to provide them transportation.

When did we lose that sense of community where extreme behavior by a person is not cause for concern amongst friends? Or even strangers that are in contact with this person are not alarmed and want to help?

I do not have the whole story on the two men who came to her aid but I am pretty sure one of them was not from America. That seems to me to possibly be a big part of the story. What is prevalent in his culture that he would immediately come to the aid of a person he did not know? I see article and videos every day of people in trouble while bystanders sit and watch.

Now I want to talk about the dad. I have a daughter. She is 21 years old and a senior in college. She is an A student. I would hope that when she is around people that ALL of them are looking out for one another with a deep sense of community and well being. If this happened to my daughter I would be outraged at the boy and his father.

The father’s statement reeks of entitlement. I would like to know his background. What did he provide for his son during his youth sports ruse in the swimming environment and home environment that set up this cause and effect scenario? What is the dad’s background? Do they come from wealth?

What we do at Frozen Shorts is to try and change the culture. We want people to embrace the fact that they are children and need to be taught life lessons. The need to fail, they need to sacrifice, and they need to understand that we are all in this together. I am not better than you. You may be my opponent but I respect you and trust that you will play with sportsmanship and fair competition.

His letter, his reaction, the Judge’s decision, and the ensuing reaction are playing out all across the country, and rightly so. I simply want to ask one last question.

How did you think this was all going to end up?

Entitlement, lack of community, the haves and the have nots, are combined with a lack of accountability and ‘I got a raw deal so I can give someone else a raw deal without guilt’. You have a formula for a culture that is very unhealthy for our children’s future being promulgated and played out every day.

Stop the tsunami.

Sports Talk Show Pillot Episode Testimonials

Sports talk Show Pilot Testimonials

Our Pilot episode. A different kind of sports talk show. Changing the culture. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpiNdZAVlD8

Steven Fineron VJ and Steve, I just watched your short, and loved it!!! Coach Armstrong @ Rush Hen. had the same way of teaching and COACHING!! @ the same time. Never beat Irondequoit. the Whipple bro's killed us, but what said at the locker room meeting was... did you give it your all? Look inside, take inventory, and be satisfied with it , if not Find a new course. Thanks!! Old mem's are the best .

Like · Reply · 22 hrs

Steven Fineron Loved the show, that's sports!

Ralph Tetta Great show. I have to tell you, that in my second year of coaching U12 Recreational League soccer, I am TERRIFIED about being a bad coach. I worried first year about parents complaining that the team didn't win enough, their kid didn't play enough, etc. etc. Vj, you gave me a copy of your book, and after reading the first few chapters, I started to understand what was REALLY important. When I worked with you on standup comedy, I told you that the first rule was HAVE FUN. If it isn't fun, why do it in the first place? And yet, the expectation I put on myself was 180 degrees away from that attitude when it came to coaching sports. You changed my whole perspective. I have a 4th grader, and equal numbers of 5th, 6th and 7th graders on my team this year. I'm sure no parent expects their kid to be Abby Wambach. But they do expect me to keep it fun, let the kids play, and encourage them to continue developing skills at their pace and to whatever their ability. I look forward to further episodes of your show. I would recommend leaving time at the end and perhaps a graphic to communicate the services you offer, instead of shoe-horning it into the conversation. I really liked what you and Steve had to say based on your experience and I will continue to watch the segments you post. THANK YOU for sharing this information, and hopefully the movement will pick up steam!

Truth and Consequences

Recently I had a parent tell me after one of my talks that his son was driven to get an athletic scholarship to college. He understood that some athletes could  “afford” to play multi sports, but they were very few. The multi sport athlete path to a scholarship was only good for the truly gifted athletes. 

His son needed to play one sport year round to get the DI athletic scholarship.  The extra time and private lessons would allow him to get better faster. He also said that the other athletes on his son’s club team were playing one sport year round. They were getting “full rides.” His son was every bit as good as those other boys who were getting athletic scholarships.

He then reiterated that since recruiting had gotten to be for younger and younger kids that his 15 year old son could fall behind them if he didn’t concentrate on one sport year round. Besides, his son loved his sport. It was the only sport he wanted to play. Why would he take that dream away from his son?

As he walked away I was struck by the thought : Who was he trying to convince, me or him? You could see the angst in his tone and body language. This whole process was stressing him out.

Was it because deep down he truly did not know if this path was best for his son? Could it be that now that his son was 15 years old and there were no offers he saw that a lot of time and money had been spent on a pursuit that was slipping away? Now, he had to do everything in his power to justify to himself and his family why he embraced this race that does not exist?

Or was it simply true that he had been fed so much false information over the years that he did not know who to believe. He did not know who to turn to. He did not know who to trust.

This is why we do what we do at Frozen Shorts.

MOM

Of all the gifts we can give our Mom on Mother’s day the best gift, and by far the best gift, is time. It is the one thing that cannot be bought but has incredible value. Actually, it is priceless. It is the one thing that shows commitment, thoughtfulness, and love. Every MOM desires, wants, and needs your time because they have wrapped their heart and soul into family. The time you give to them makes them feel good. The time spent with them creates memories. Moms live for experiences that are turned into memories. It is the one gift that keeps on giving. Your MOM knows that time can never be replaced or duplicated. It is finite and slipping away by the day.

 BUT time keeps on giving as she will have memories of your time together that will far outweigh any material present. There may be reasons that I do not understand that make it difficult for you to reach out to your MOM and tell her you love her, and I am truly sorry for that. But if you can find it in your heart to reach out, it will make her day, now and forever. I know, I can’t say I love you to my MOM today and I think about it every day. Miss you MOM. Love you forever. At 60 I am still a MOMAS boy and proud of it. PEACE

The NFL Draft, Multi Sport athletes and THE OHIO State

THE NFL Draft, Multi Sport Athletes, and THE Ohio State

When the NFL draft was over many of us looked with interest as to the athletic background of the players drafted. USA football actually posted the results. In fact 28 of the 31 first round draft picks played multi sports.

 If you follow me on twitter @VJJStanley you will have read my interaction with Shelley Meyer on that social media, the wife of head coach Urban Meyer and her support for our project.  She let us know about her husband’s propensity to recruit multi sport athletes, character and quality kids.

What you may not have known, or seen was Urban putting the plan into action along with the rest of the NCAA Division 1 coaches to recruit multi sport athletes. In fact in this recruiting class alone He and his staff recruited 48 players of which 42 were multi sport athletes. Why is that important? THE Ohio State University football team set a record for players drafted in the current 7 round draft in 2004. This year Ohio State had 5 picked in the first round, 2 more in the second round, and 3 in the third. They completed their run with 2 more in the fourth round for a total of 12.

Congratulations to Urban Meyer and the other NCAA Division 1 coaches for using science to help their programs and the children. The data is now in. Multi sport athletes have a BETTER chance for a D1 scholarship and a pro career than athletes who specialize.

Congratulations to these young men, and especially their PARENTS for choosing the wise, healthy choice for their children’s future athletic pursuit.

Next week a parent’s response and our answer to him.

The Amusement Park

No one gets better sitting on the bench, no one. There is not one thing sitting on the bench does for an athlete that is not far outweighed by playing. In this ever changing world we live in teaching children fair and honest competition and sportsmanship is only learned by playing. Children learn by internal realization, not external force. Sitting on the bench and not playing scientifically speaking, affects the brain and cognitive ability to learn. Have you ever traveled all day on a plane or car? How tired are you at the end of the trip? You just sat all day. You get to your destination , say an amusement park, and you don’t get to go on any of the rides. That's how the kids feel. That is not a ripe environment to learn. As a head hockey coach in college we had a simple philosophy. If you dress you play. No, not just one minute at the end of the game either. At my company Frozen Shorts, we teach completion to coach’s parents and athletes in our talks and seminars. Survival of the fittest never meant one person. It meant a community. Inclusion not exclusion is the new way to build championship teams. I am a very competitive person but I would bench my mom in the last five minutes of a championship game even if she was my best player. And it wouldn’t faze me. I would make sure I put her back in, along with every other athlete thou. Failing is not failure. It’s not my job to decide when how or even if the light goes on. My goal is to just keep flipping the switch.

 Work at it every day at our Co. there should never be U10 kids sitting. You have to build the base. No one gets better sitting on the bench. For 99% of the kids HS is it. Body doesn’t develop fully until 22, 23, and 24. Most teams have 2 good kids and two not so well. Everyone else is interchangeable, but they don’t all get to play. You always run faster when someone is chasing you