What happens after the bright lights are turned off?

I am certainly happy for the kids on the four teams that have made it to the final four. These kids are living a mostly once in a lifetime dream.   Some parents too. The odds of getting here are very slim.

 Most kids these days play one sport year round. The players on these teams must be in tremendous shape to be able to play at this high level for this long. It is even more amazing because most coaches only play 6, 7, or 8 kids in a close game. Some don’t play more than that even when they are winning or losing big.

These kids’ bodies and minds take a tremendous year round pounding. Their game and travel schedules are imposing to say the least. You combine this with their academics, and you have what amounts to a full time job.

What these kids have had to endure throughout their season and career to get to this point is amazing. The constant travel schedules, the showcases, the many leagues all take their toll on athletes and families.

 The risk of overuse injuries are percentage wise, not in their favor. Yet, they compete. They compete hard for long periods of time for their team, their future, and adult’s glory.  These kids disregard their personal well being in hopes of winning a scholarship and maybe a championship.

The future consequences they face when this is over are massive. For a very few a lucrative NBA payday lies ahead. BUT, even for these few, long term financial security is microscopic at best.

What happens after the lights are turned off? How many of these kids graduate? How many get a meaningful degree? How many have learned coping skills and life lessons they can apply to future endeavors?

 I am not saying that the colleges, the coaches, or even AAU is responsible here. They are businesses doing their thing. They would not have a market if the parents did not want their product, and want it badly. Many products are sold every day all over the worlds that don’t have the consumers’ best interest at heart.

Who picks up the pieces when hearts, bodies, and minds have been broken?

Maybe you should do something else besides coaching kids if:

Maybe you should do something else beside coaching kids if:

You fall into any of these scenarios as a youth and high school coach. Over the last six months I have been to practices and games and have seen more and more of coaches” playing” while their players watch. Time after time I see coaches being the center of attention “demonstrating” when in actuality they are showing off while kids, stand, sit and watch them perform.

Coaches are continually shouting instructions for an entire contest. Over coaching your team when the game is already won instead of concentrating on putting in more children to play have become the norm and not the exception

When did it become acceptable for coaches to lecture their teams for 10 minutes instead of letting them play?

Why are coaches giving 20 minute lectures after games are over?

You are coaching kids in hockey and you take slapshots at the goalie thinking it will be good for them.

You take the puck and skate around kids and score.

You join in the scrimmage and dominate play

You take the basketball and dribble against children and “body’ them as you go to the basket

You block their shots thinking it will be good for them

You take shots at the lax goalie and score. You whip balls at the goalie and try to score in warm-ups

 You take your stick and make moves on the kids and take pleasure in beating them

You shoot at the soccer goalie and try to beat him

You dribble through kids and shoot to score

You and another coach take sideline toe tapping catches before a game of football

You throw to the receivers while kids watch

You catch balls from another coach during practice while kids stand and watch

The adulting and professionalization of youth and high school sports has gotten out of control. Although most have good intentions they are bombarded with professional TV”coaching styles.”

Children, and they are children, are quitting in droves. Parents are becoming more disillusioned and frustrated as they spend thousands of dollars to watch their child “play” in a high stakes game of youth sports.

There are a tremendous amount of excellent coaches out there. They play lots of kids and don’t look for any glory except the faces and memories of the kids they coach. They are humble and don’t yell at kid or referees knowing full well that the journey, and mistakes are part of the journey, are what makes the lasting memories.

Equality or Me-Too_Ism

In Psychology, women, for the most part are smarter than men. We judge intelligence by the firing of the synapse between the corpus callosums. In this measure, women’s synapse fire faster therefore they are of higher intelligence. A fact my wonderful wife is keenly aware of. I have said to my wife on many occasions, if we are going to be equal you will have to dummy down, and I don’t think you want that.

There is a new mantra in society that I see growing with increased velocity. It is called “me-too-ism.” Yes I know this is not a word, I just made it up. This word has taken the place of equality for many people whether they realize it or not. People who feel oppressed and see little hope for the future want to vent their frustrations. They look to latch on to someone or something they feel makes them feel superior. Not better, superior.

The justification for wanting something someone else has, or is perceived to have is rampant. It is not jealousy as we have known it in the past. This new brand has a degree of I am better than you along with the dreaded I am not satisfied with what I have mentality. I need more that I have whether it is material or psychological.

As for the athletes and spousal abuse, in as much as teams value players GAME IQ it wouldn’t matter unless they are a great athlete. They have been coddled and told what a great athlete they are for years. When doubt rears its ugly head it is their athleticism 9 out of 10 times that get s them out of trouble or to glory. They are getting paid first and foremost because they are an exceptional athlete.

Just because a woman is smaller is no reason to take advantage of that with your size, strength, or status. It should be protected and nurtured. We are all on the same team.

 We need to get along and help each other. It does not mean we can’t be friendly rivals or compete hard against each other. Heck, I am more inclined to try harder to beat my friend in a sports contest that someone I don’t know. They are just another game on the schedule. But rivalries, well, now you have my attention.

I have said on many occasions; you will never be happy with what you want until you are satisfied with what you have. That life lesson maybe one of the two or three most important behaviors we model for our children’s future.