Truth and Consequences

Recently I had a parent tell me after one of my talks that his son was driven to get an athletic scholarship to college. He understood that some athletes could  “afford” to play multi sports, but they were very few. The multi sport athlete path to a scholarship was only good for the truly gifted athletes. 

His son needed to play one sport year round to get the DI athletic scholarship.  The extra time and private lessons would allow him to get better faster. He also said that the other athletes on his son’s club team were playing one sport year round. They were getting “full rides.” His son was every bit as good as those other boys who were getting athletic scholarships.

He then reiterated that since recruiting had gotten to be for younger and younger kids that his 15 year old son could fall behind them if he didn’t concentrate on one sport year round. Besides, his son loved his sport. It was the only sport he wanted to play. Why would he take that dream away from his son?

As he walked away I was struck by the thought : Who was he trying to convince, me or him? You could see the angst in his tone and body language. This whole process was stressing him out.

Was it because deep down he truly did not know if this path was best for his son? Could it be that now that his son was 15 years old and there were no offers he saw that a lot of time and money had been spent on a pursuit that was slipping away? Now, he had to do everything in his power to justify to himself and his family why he embraced this race that does not exist?

Or was it simply true that he had been fed so much false information over the years that he did not know who to believe. He did not know who to turn to. He did not know who to trust.

This is why we do what we do at Frozen Shorts.

MOM

Of all the gifts we can give our Mom on Mother’s day the best gift, and by far the best gift, is time. It is the one thing that cannot be bought but has incredible value. Actually, it is priceless. It is the one thing that shows commitment, thoughtfulness, and love. Every MOM desires, wants, and needs your time because they have wrapped their heart and soul into family. The time you give to them makes them feel good. The time spent with them creates memories. Moms live for experiences that are turned into memories. It is the one gift that keeps on giving. Your MOM knows that time can never be replaced or duplicated. It is finite and slipping away by the day.

 BUT time keeps on giving as she will have memories of your time together that will far outweigh any material present. There may be reasons that I do not understand that make it difficult for you to reach out to your MOM and tell her you love her, and I am truly sorry for that. But if you can find it in your heart to reach out, it will make her day, now and forever. I know, I can’t say I love you to my MOM today and I think about it every day. Miss you MOM. Love you forever. At 60 I am still a MOMAS boy and proud of it. PEACE

The NFL Draft, Multi Sport athletes and THE OHIO State

THE NFL Draft, Multi Sport Athletes, and THE Ohio State

When the NFL draft was over many of us looked with interest as to the athletic background of the players drafted. USA football actually posted the results. In fact 28 of the 31 first round draft picks played multi sports.

 If you follow me on twitter @VJJStanley you will have read my interaction with Shelley Meyer on that social media, the wife of head coach Urban Meyer and her support for our project.  She let us know about her husband’s propensity to recruit multi sport athletes, character and quality kids.

What you may not have known, or seen was Urban putting the plan into action along with the rest of the NCAA Division 1 coaches to recruit multi sport athletes. In fact in this recruiting class alone He and his staff recruited 48 players of which 42 were multi sport athletes. Why is that important? THE Ohio State University football team set a record for players drafted in the current 7 round draft in 2004. This year Ohio State had 5 picked in the first round, 2 more in the second round, and 3 in the third. They completed their run with 2 more in the fourth round for a total of 12.

Congratulations to Urban Meyer and the other NCAA Division 1 coaches for using science to help their programs and the children. The data is now in. Multi sport athletes have a BETTER chance for a D1 scholarship and a pro career than athletes who specialize.

Congratulations to these young men, and especially their PARENTS for choosing the wise, healthy choice for their children’s future athletic pursuit.

Next week a parent’s response and our answer to him.

The Amusement Park

No one gets better sitting on the bench, no one. There is not one thing sitting on the bench does for an athlete that is not far outweighed by playing. In this ever changing world we live in teaching children fair and honest competition and sportsmanship is only learned by playing. Children learn by internal realization, not external force. Sitting on the bench and not playing scientifically speaking, affects the brain and cognitive ability to learn. Have you ever traveled all day on a plane or car? How tired are you at the end of the trip? You just sat all day. You get to your destination , say an amusement park, and you don’t get to go on any of the rides. That's how the kids feel. That is not a ripe environment to learn. As a head hockey coach in college we had a simple philosophy. If you dress you play. No, not just one minute at the end of the game either. At my company Frozen Shorts, we teach completion to coach’s parents and athletes in our talks and seminars. Survival of the fittest never meant one person. It meant a community. Inclusion not exclusion is the new way to build championship teams. I am a very competitive person but I would bench my mom in the last five minutes of a championship game even if she was my best player. And it wouldn’t faze me. I would make sure I put her back in, along with every other athlete thou. Failing is not failure. It’s not my job to decide when how or even if the light goes on. My goal is to just keep flipping the switch.

 Work at it every day at our Co. there should never be U10 kids sitting. You have to build the base. No one gets better sitting on the bench. For 99% of the kids HS is it. Body doesn’t develop fully until 22, 23, and 24. Most teams have 2 good kids and two not so well. Everyone else is interchangeable, but they don’t all get to play. You always run faster when someone is chasing you

What happens after the bright lights are turned off?

I am certainly happy for the kids on the four teams that have made it to the final four. These kids are living a mostly once in a lifetime dream.   Some parents too. The odds of getting here are very slim.

 Most kids these days play one sport year round. The players on these teams must be in tremendous shape to be able to play at this high level for this long. It is even more amazing because most coaches only play 6, 7, or 8 kids in a close game. Some don’t play more than that even when they are winning or losing big.

These kids’ bodies and minds take a tremendous year round pounding. Their game and travel schedules are imposing to say the least. You combine this with their academics, and you have what amounts to a full time job.

What these kids have had to endure throughout their season and career to get to this point is amazing. The constant travel schedules, the showcases, the many leagues all take their toll on athletes and families.

 The risk of overuse injuries are percentage wise, not in their favor. Yet, they compete. They compete hard for long periods of time for their team, their future, and adult’s glory.  These kids disregard their personal well being in hopes of winning a scholarship and maybe a championship.

The future consequences they face when this is over are massive. For a very few a lucrative NBA payday lies ahead. BUT, even for these few, long term financial security is microscopic at best.

What happens after the lights are turned off? How many of these kids graduate? How many get a meaningful degree? How many have learned coping skills and life lessons they can apply to future endeavors?

 I am not saying that the colleges, the coaches, or even AAU is responsible here. They are businesses doing their thing. They would not have a market if the parents did not want their product, and want it badly. Many products are sold every day all over the worlds that don’t have the consumers’ best interest at heart.

Who picks up the pieces when hearts, bodies, and minds have been broken?

Maybe you should do something else besides coaching kids if:

Maybe you should do something else beside coaching kids if:

You fall into any of these scenarios as a youth and high school coach. Over the last six months I have been to practices and games and have seen more and more of coaches” playing” while their players watch. Time after time I see coaches being the center of attention “demonstrating” when in actuality they are showing off while kids, stand, sit and watch them perform.

Coaches are continually shouting instructions for an entire contest. Over coaching your team when the game is already won instead of concentrating on putting in more children to play have become the norm and not the exception

When did it become acceptable for coaches to lecture their teams for 10 minutes instead of letting them play?

Why are coaches giving 20 minute lectures after games are over?

You are coaching kids in hockey and you take slapshots at the goalie thinking it will be good for them.

You take the puck and skate around kids and score.

You join in the scrimmage and dominate play

You take the basketball and dribble against children and “body’ them as you go to the basket

You block their shots thinking it will be good for them

You take shots at the lax goalie and score. You whip balls at the goalie and try to score in warm-ups

 You take your stick and make moves on the kids and take pleasure in beating them

You shoot at the soccer goalie and try to beat him

You dribble through kids and shoot to score

You and another coach take sideline toe tapping catches before a game of football

You throw to the receivers while kids watch

You catch balls from another coach during practice while kids stand and watch

The adulting and professionalization of youth and high school sports has gotten out of control. Although most have good intentions they are bombarded with professional TV”coaching styles.”

Children, and they are children, are quitting in droves. Parents are becoming more disillusioned and frustrated as they spend thousands of dollars to watch their child “play” in a high stakes game of youth sports.

There are a tremendous amount of excellent coaches out there. They play lots of kids and don’t look for any glory except the faces and memories of the kids they coach. They are humble and don’t yell at kid or referees knowing full well that the journey, and mistakes are part of the journey, are what makes the lasting memories.

Equality or Me-Too_Ism

In Psychology, women, for the most part are smarter than men. We judge intelligence by the firing of the synapse between the corpus callosums. In this measure, women’s synapse fire faster therefore they are of higher intelligence. A fact my wonderful wife is keenly aware of. I have said to my wife on many occasions, if we are going to be equal you will have to dummy down, and I don’t think you want that.

There is a new mantra in society that I see growing with increased velocity. It is called “me-too-ism.” Yes I know this is not a word, I just made it up. This word has taken the place of equality for many people whether they realize it or not. People who feel oppressed and see little hope for the future want to vent their frustrations. They look to latch on to someone or something they feel makes them feel superior. Not better, superior.

The justification for wanting something someone else has, or is perceived to have is rampant. It is not jealousy as we have known it in the past. This new brand has a degree of I am better than you along with the dreaded I am not satisfied with what I have mentality. I need more that I have whether it is material or psychological.

As for the athletes and spousal abuse, in as much as teams value players GAME IQ it wouldn’t matter unless they are a great athlete. They have been coddled and told what a great athlete they are for years. When doubt rears its ugly head it is their athleticism 9 out of 10 times that get s them out of trouble or to glory. They are getting paid first and foremost because they are an exceptional athlete.

Just because a woman is smaller is no reason to take advantage of that with your size, strength, or status. It should be protected and nurtured. We are all on the same team.

 We need to get along and help each other. It does not mean we can’t be friendly rivals or compete hard against each other. Heck, I am more inclined to try harder to beat my friend in a sports contest that someone I don’t know. They are just another game on the schedule. But rivalries, well, now you have my attention.

I have said on many occasions; you will never be happy with what you want until you are satisfied with what you have. That life lesson maybe one of the two or three most important behaviors we model for our children’s future.