I d'ont think you think what you think

Everyone runs faster when they are being chased. Kids are already competitive. We have to teach them to share and help others. That’s long term development. So don’t let kids sit on the bench. Play them all. It leads to better competition and development. Kids need to have fun when they play.How many times did your kids change their mind when they were little as to what they wanted to do during a day?No to specialization for kids Don’t mange games, build relationships. You say you play to win, I play to compete. In the long run I have a better chance of winning than you do. The higher up you go everyone is good. What happens when you get to the next level and you are not the best player anymore? Where you taught to help make your teammates better? Or just to wait your turn? That’s entitlement. True competition is play by performance. All those games you played the whole game aren’t helping. They taught you bad habits. Hey, want to have some fun today? Work getting you down? You bored just sitting around? So do the kids when they don’t get to play. Playing your best players against a poor team reduces competition. Play against the game in that situation. Inter team competition rules the day. More is not always better.

A Kentucky basketball players says something dumb

A Kentucky basketball player says something dumb.

From the time they are kids, little 8 year old kids, they play "elite" travel. At 10 they are told they are athletes and special.They now have an extrinsic value put on them for what should be an internal realization and fun. Adulting kids. At 13 they are interviewed and travel all over the place. Lots of money is spent and made on these kids.Entitlement on and off the playing field with very few consequences are the norm not the exception. In my talks all over the country I repeatedly tell people Im surprised that you are surprised that this kind of behavior is happening. How did you think this was going to turn out. Unless we introduce manners, community, and equal play 10 and under the problem, with this kind of outburst, will only continue and get worse. And Im at fault too for commenting on it in this post.

Zen thoughts on a championship game

Zen thoughts on a championship game

One game at the end of a season does not define you. It only puts an exclamation point on the end of the journey! We sometimes put so much emphasis on the score that we lose sight/joy of the journey, the memories made, the trust shared, and the lasting bond that is built. I can yell at someone young that I'm coaching and get them to do what I want. But praise them; I get them to do what they want to do better! As you look back, you will see great memories take time to develop. These things that take time are the most valuable. They are nurtured through time with growth, fun, and failure. This blend builds a solid foundation from which life skills are developed and nurtured. You got your shot and performed. It’s what we say to all. Most kids just need a chance, some time. And confidence. Head up, no back talk no showboat, hard worker, and a classy guy. You make a great team mate and citizen. So impressed by the way you handle yourself. The play you made under pressure today at that time in the game was great. I love pressure and competition and you excelled in both. Don't short change yourself you are going places too. It takes time. When you tie for team lead in scoring in a State Championship semi final with a duy who will play DI, you belong. You no longer have to say I think I might or someone else should when you arrive on the court. You can now look in the mirror and say I know I did. Believe it. So pleased for you and the team. I know today was rough. You handled yourself very classy after the injury, very mature. Impressive. The journey will reveal itself its not who starts first. Because they chose to sacrifice, and give more than they receive, they are rewarded a feeling that no score can erase.

To Jay, Jake, Pete and the boys

Full Length

Full length anything for kids under 10

Let’s use 10 year olds. People keep telling me that we need to have the kids play on full courts, full size nets, and baskets. As usual, they say it’s the way it is, that’s the way they are going to have learn to play in high school and college. But do we  bring in a PHD from Harvard to teach Quantum Physics to 10 year olds? Remember, a 10 year old is not half a 20 year old in terms of development.

 I say let’s try something different and here’s why.

Let’s say you have a 10 year old running up and down a court, field, or skating the full length of a rink. After talking with gym teachers I found out that even in shape, this age kid, and let’s be clear, most of them will get tired pretty quickly.

Since touches are the fun part of playing a sport, not only are they getting tired, but they are also less likely to touch the ball. They are less likely to complete passes, the very heart of team sport production. If you want competition and positive stress, which I am all for, keep track of TEAM pass completion %.

Furthermore when you are tired you keep making mistakes. And when pressure is ramped up to win, the mistakes keep happening because of the outside negative stress being yelled at them by adults. They do not get the memory reinforcement needed to build confidence. This confidence helps them relax, and relaxed players play better.

Then, just like a child with allergies, we put them back in the same environment that caused them to make problems in the first place. Now we sit back, shake our heads, and cant for the life of us figure out why they keep making the same mistakes over and over again. They become sensitized to the stimulus and regress.

Now as a treat, or a reward, you want to have a little fun, with little or no structure,  no keeping score, you can let them play full court, ice, and field, but only like any other drill. Keep it short, include all, and make it FUN.

Leading/Learning

You want to teach kids and watch them grow independent? Free play and fun. Plus, it tires the heck out of them and leaves them feeling great.Our leadership tip: Taking care of those less fortunate is a great way to self realization.Self realization is better than extrinsic force any day for long term growth.You cant know where you are going if you don't know where you have been.Leadership involves taking joy and a backseat to others success. They must trust that you will lead until they no longer have to follow. Your positive reinforcement versus negative admonishment takes more thought and effort and produces much better results.

Leadership

  One trait I concentrate on my talks and seminars is a leader does not always have to be in front. A great leader has the inner security to allow and encourage others to "take the lead" and then models that behavior by being happy for that person as they continue on their journey of choice. We are losing the importance of community and accountability as a mistake has become equivalent to failure and not an opportunity for self evaluation and growth. 

What If?

What if a child just wanted to be a child and dream different things and be different things every day and be happy and free, feeling loved and safe? What if as adults, we took joy in the very simple things our children love and supported them instead of pushed them? What if letting a child live in the moment while dreaming about the future through free play,fun creativity, and imagination, set them to a path they could enjoy and embrace instead of worry about? It takes baby steps to fix the problem. We do not want to try and change the culture the same way it manifests itself. Its all about the journey. Sometimes you have to treat the symptom to relax the patient first, then treat the disease. Peace of mind is victory