I'M Not That Kind of Parent Part II

I’m not that kind of parent partII

Let me say this to ALL the parents consciously or sub consciously pushing their kids to play travel youth sports. Every team has at least one parent, maybe more, who is living vicariously through their child and justifying it by the “level” they are playing and the money they are spending. If you look around your team and you can’t see that type of parent, chances are YOU are that parent!

“But they are telling you he can’t play on this team. Why not find a house team for him to play on and let them play for fun?” His response: “He’s too good for a house team.”

Evidently not!

So at 18 years of age, when many of the kids and families have already moved on and realize that youth sports is just about playing for fun and learning life skills, you are still pushing for the dream. The child resents it, they are tired of hearing you talk about THEIR life as if it was your own, and they are tired, disillusioned, frustrated, and resentful. Their view of what is right and wrong has been skewed by a make believe existence tied to the dram of scholarships and professional sports.

 How do we know this, we talk to kids every day. You know why they play youth sports, to have fun!

But the kids don’t quit playing elite travel sports when they realize it is more of a job than fun.  Even though they are tired and tense, they keep on keeping on to please their parents, friends, or coaches. They should be playing with their friends in high school. The families have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars to chase a dream in a nonexistent race. Many children we talk to feel they don’t have any choice but to keep playing. The pressure from within their inner circle is too much. They start to rationalize what they are doing. An then it happens. They get cut from the team they are trying out for, and it’s over.

So, I ask him: Seems like there is a lot of politics being played here. In a lot of cases kids getting screwed over, is that what you are saying?”

“YES” he says.

I ask than why you would spend so much money on something determined by luck and prejudice.”

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You can follow VJ on twitter @VJJStanley, go to his website frozenshorts.com to read other blogs and see video interviews of Doctors, Athletes, coaches, and more. You can follow him on face book, or contact him at vj@frozenshorts.com.  His book: Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports is available in E-Reader and paperback through his website frozenshorts.com