Kids, Competition, and Citi Field

Kids, Competition, and Citi Field

I keep hearing over and over again how we need to teach kids to be competitive. Baloney. I also keep hearing that it is O.K. to have kids play at a “house” recreation level when they are young and have the more talented ones play with and against better talent in an “elite” setting, because that is a more and better competitive environment for them. Hogwash.

Let’s break this down scientifically. First the male and female bodies do not fully develop until the children are in their early to mid twenties. Also, only about 10% of the kids who are the “best” at age 10, and I use that term very loosely, are the best at age 18. (Having a genetic predisposition of more co ordination or size at an early age, and having that be the judging criteria for athletic ability is very flawed) But I digress.

A player on your team may be one of the top two or three players TODAY, but by giving that player more reps and more chances so you can: WIN” a meaningless game just sets that child up to believe that he or she has more talent, deserves more playing time, and that talent, when put into an elite setting has tangible financial value. WRONG.

 It is just another form of entitlement. Simply put, it is a head start in a race that does not exist. Would you give a person a head start over other children in a foot race just because they are bigger and faster? Actually, when we handicap a race, we do just the opposite, don’t we?

If I have my modified basketball team line up on the end line of a basketball court and put 2 sheet pizzas at the opposite foul line. Am I to believe that we need to give the kids instructions on how to be competitive for the pizza? Just blow the whistle and let them go!

Now sure, I suspect that when you do this with boys, one of the boys may not get any pizza. At least one boy will look at this boy with disdain, not knowing that this boy, by not getting a piece of pizza, is using that mistake of not being competitive costing him a consequence, (not failure) as motivation to be more competitive.  When the girls do this, I am also confident that at least one girl will make sure that the girl get who was left out will get at least one slice.

 Did you watch the Home Run Derby at the MLB all star game? Did you see the kids in the outfield chasing the batted balls by the all-stars?  Did you see how competitive it was? While everyone was watching the home runs, I was watching the kids! Where there any coaches coaching the kids out on the field? It looked pretty competitive to me!

In either test case no coaching was needed to get the competitive juices flowing. What coaching WAS needed was making sure the kids understood the importance of sharing. What has to be coached is the FACT that a kid who is more talented may level off and a kid who shows little talent, can and may get exponentially better so that a 1, 2, or 3 can become a 12, 13, or 14, while those same children can switch levels in a single practice or game, given the right amount of chances and playing time.

Children are not micro adults or mini professional athletes. They are not remote controlled robots attached to adult’s personal joy sticks. 70% are quitting youth sports by the time they are 13. If you had a business that was losing 70% of your customers you would change your business practices in a hurry, or go out of business!

8 Concussions Later

8 Concussions Later

With all the talk, and rightly so, about concussions in youth sports I thought I would relate my experience to you. At the ripe old age of 12 I got my first concussion.   I got blindsided on a hit at a hockey school in Canada.

The next one happened when I was a freshman in high school. A great big defenseman nailed me at the top of the faceoff circle and rode on top of me into the end boards smacking my neck, back, and head into the wall.

While returning an interception in my sophomore year at high school playing football I was blindsided by an offensive lineman near the sidelines, knocked me clear out of bounds.

The fourth one happened in a men’s league game after high school. I was picked to play against a semi pro team with a bunch of older guys from this league. I scored a goal against the other team and as I raised my arms to celebrate I got clocked, head first into the end boards.

The fifth one happened in a softball tournament. I was coming home to score a run while watching the play behind me and the catcher raised his elbow and blindsided me.

Number six was a doosy.  I was skating in on goal with a breakaway when a guy came from behind and took his stick and hooked me in the face cutting me in two places. I fell to the ice and smacked the back of my head on the ice

The last two happened within a week of each other while I was at college. The first on came as I received a buddy pass and the defenseman, who was trying to make the team, hit me so hard I was out cold. The last one happened when I was at the boards on the blue line. A player came from behind and hit me head first into the boards. He hit me so hard it cracked my helmet

After this last one I was called into the coaches’ office before the next practice and sent to the hospital. I had arrived at college with 20/10 vision. When I got tested at the time of last two concussions, I had 200/300. I did not sleep for five days in a row, the headaches were so bad.

When I was discharged I was unable to drive for six months. It took that long for my balance and vision to return to normal. To this day, if I read a book for more than an hour the words will separate and I get double vision and wicked headaches. Pretty ironic for an author,huh?

The next story I want to relate to you happened three Christmas’s ago, over 25 years after my last concussion.  My wonderful wife bought blueberry candy canes to decorate the Christmas tree. When I arrived home from a speaking engagement I was immediately struck by the smell of the candy canes. Then it happened. The headache came on almost instantaneously. My vision started to blur and my words got slurry as I tried to explain to my wife what was happening. Then I pretty much lost my ability to see and to speak. (The latter one probably would make some people happy.)

My wife guided me upstairs to the guest room. She closed the blinds, put a hand towel over eyes, and opened a window just a crack, and went downstairs. She proceeded to throw out the candy canes and turned the heat up to get the smell out of the house. Four hours later I returned to normal, well, for me anyway.

As I am getting older the symptoms seem to be coming on more frequent. I will get headaches easily, sometimes I forget what I’m saying in the middle of a sentence, and other times I will lose concentration and just drift off. My ability to speak will be inhibited, and I will get dizzy.

Maybe that explains why I am like this? Did you really think (or care) that I got like this normally? Don’t feel sorry for me please. I have led a great life. I have done so many things and am so fortunate to have the friends and family around me. I will keep you up to date on my journey.

Oh, there is one good thing about all these concussion. My wife is 10 years younger than me and very pretty. (I know, go figure) But as my memory slips and fades maybe I will start to think that I have met a really cute girl, on a continuous basis! What a lucky guy!

And yes, I know some people may be offended by me making jokes, but it is how I cope. Besides, there is nothing I can do about the concussions for myself, but I can and do educate as many people as possible about this very serious health issue.

Ya get lemons, make lemonade.

Winning: Teaching Quantum Physics to Children

Winning and Teaching Quantum Physics To Children

In my talks and interviews around the country and parts of Canada I am occasionally confronted with the idea that winning is everything. More succinctly, I am presented with the hypothesis, or in some cases, the misconceived notion, that children of all ages must be taught the importance of winning while they play youth sports, because that is a life lesson. To follow that logic, or lack thereof, we must forget for a minute that 85% of all people who lose their jobs, except for massive layoffs, lose them because they don’t get along with other employees.

Winning is such an abstract concept, that even professional teams, who say they only care about winning, and spend millions of dollars each year to try and win, still can’t win a championship, and  can’t explain to anyone how to guarantee a win.

 But I am supposed to believe that part time youth and High School coaches with little or no professional training can teach children this abstract concept to kids? (Really, this is like bringing down a Harvard Professor who teaches Quantum Physics and has received the “Skytte Prize” to a Middle School and having her try to teach these kids Quantum Physics.)

Do you really think that John Calipari, after coaching Kentucky to an National Championship  in college basketball, forgot how to win the next year when his team did not even qualify for  March Madness, and the NCAA Division I National Championship Tournament?

Teachers in Elementary, Middle and High Schools, do not teach children that they have to win. They teach them the importance of the journey, and learning for the joy of learning. (Now this successful formula is being eschewed for the notion that teaching to the test is more important than being educated for life, but as usual, I digress)

Teachers understand how important it is for children to work and play together. They have the children work in groups and do projects together, because they know through experience and Master’s Degrees in Education, that this is the best way to teach children, and have the knowledge stay with kids after school is done. They know how important community is in children’s lives, now and in the future.

So why don’t we coach these kids the same way they are taught everyday in school? Ever seen a teacher yell at a kid during a test?

Winning and losing will prepare them for life these coaches say. People tell me that I am “Mamby Pamby” about winning and that Frozen Shorts espouses the theory that equal play for all is another form of entitlement. (Even though we say equal play for prepuberty children and play by performance for the older ones)

 Equal play allows “lazy” coaches to get away without coaching all the fundamentals needed to teach children life lessons and the importance of winning I am told. Nonsense. It’s a kid’s game and some adults want to make their participation in youth sports, more important, and more profitable to them at the children’s expense. It is one of the major reasons they quit playing

Well, let’s back the bus up here for just a minute and see what is going on here.  So, how is it that the paradigm of winning as being the almighty answer can and is sometimes built on a false foundation? How many of you have played in a game and lost when you played well? How many have you played in a game, played poorly, and still won? So, in these games winning and losing actually were not a clear indication of how well you played. The outcome of these games either gave you a win you didn’t earn or a loss you that may have hid how well you really played. How do you build and develop children with a false base? Now that is confusing to me. Imagine how confusing and frustrating it is to the children?

 They just want to play and have FUN!

The idea of life lessons that employ the journey, not the goal, as being of paramount importance, and the #1 priority in youth and High School sports, has been lost on this generation of parents, coaches, and athletes for the most part. Scholarships, ego, status and angst have enveloped this new youth sports paradigm. As I like to ask in my talks: “How is your way working out for you?”

What is the outcome? Injuries are skyrocketing, violence has increased dramatically, and children are quitting playing youth and high school sports in record numbers. That is not a successful business model, is it?

The problem has become a national health issue. Type II diabetes is on the rise and obesity has quadrupled in the last 30 years.

Os sure, people can preach the mantra of winning, but really, what are those people really winning? Is this the base that we want to emulate the paradigm for our children’s future? I hope not.

 I’d really hate to have to try and teach Quantum Physics!

Frozen Shorts: The Journey

Frozen Shorts: The Journey

 Boy, do I miss the good old days playing youth sports. And yes I am aware, that in most cases, the good old days weren’t always good. The stated goal back then was to have fun, learn life lessons, hang out with your buddies, and play. There were a few wack-a-doodles back then, but not many. We played all sports. Street hockey and basketball were played in the driveway, baseball in a field behind our house, and football and soccer in adjoining neighbors’ yards. The games were very competitive and lots of fun. There was some good natured ribbing, but mostly each guy cared about everyone having fun and getting to play allot. Guys got nicked up, we had disagreements, and settled them easily, and got right back at it the next day.

 Games were made up, and rules were brokered by the older guys. Guys wanted other guys to do well and be successful. If a friend was not as talented it did not matter, he stilled played, and that is the only way to get better. The older guys taught us younger guys and we got better by playing. We all shared playing time. Each new season brought to us a new sport. No one got burned out, and a very few select guys still got scholarships, but most of all; we all played and had fun. Parents had little say in what we did playing sports. When it came time to play organized sports, parents paid a modest fee, volunteered to coach, and hauled us to practice and games. After every game we went for ice cream. We had a blast.

So when I started coaching about 38 years ago in youth sports I just naturally assumed this was the way to coach. My first coaching job came about quite by accident. I was at a friend’s diner, and his son played on a hockey team. The coach, who was a great guy, came in, we talked, and I coached the team the next year because he was too busy with his job. (I am still close to that player today) From there I went on to coach in high school and college hockey.

I started keeping little notes and stuffing them in a drawer as I went on this journey. I wanted to learn, I wanted to get better. Analyzing everything and trying to figure out if there was a better way to do things became an everyday occurrence for me. Mental notes turned into ideas and ideas turned into practice. My broadcasting career with the AHL team in our city gave me access to some pretty good coaches, as did my subsequent time doing DIII and DI broadcasts for R.I.T.

About 15 years ago my son Clayton started playing youth sports. Boy was I shocked. This was nothing like I remembered. I’m old, not ancient. Youth sports had turned into a machine, with what seemed to me to be a new stated goal of “elite” travels teams. Didn’t make much sense to me. They are just kids. Let them play.

But what struck me most were the injuries. There were a lot of them. No one was putting two and two together. The tremendous pressure put on these kids to chose a sport, the long travel to play games against teams in other states, ( which were no better than the teams near us) The importance put on these games, and the driving force to play one sport year round was at the root of these injuries. How could people not see this? Oh, and what about fun? Fun was now taking a back seat to winning, status, and scholarships. The money being spent, and is being spent, was out of control. Value was being put on 8 year olds athletic ability, or lack thereof.

 I’m all for competition, good honest fair competition, and I like to win, a lot. But this, this was different than anything I had ever seen. Kids were getting hurt all the time. I could clearly see the connection between this new era of youth sports and the injuries. I started talking to Certified Athletic trainers, Doctors, Physical Education teachers and athletes.

So I turned the notes I had been taking for all these years into a book. The book, and the company I formed was done with the belief that we had to lower the injury rate and the best way to do this was to embrace the old ways we did things.  I t was the way I had coached all my adult life. Play for fun with balanced excellence, and the overuse injuries would go down, we would have more fun.

So here we are. I have been interviewed all over the United Sates, and twice in Canada, in all forms of media.

 Achieving balanced excellence and health while embracing the value of play for fun became the mission of Frozen Shorts. It is a simple formula, just not easy to implement.

We work with Doctors, coaches, Certified Athletic Trainers, professional athletes, and moms and dads sharing ideas and implementing solutions to right the ship as it has careened off course and out of control.

 Change has started.