8 easy Steps for youth sports coaching

 8 Easy Steps to youth sports coaching

Nobody comes to a youth or high school sports game to watch a coach coach.  If an adult wants to become great youth coach pre puberty for the kids best long term interests? Here are 8 easy steps for all youth sports coaches’ pre puberty! 1. Equal play.2 Let the kids play multiple positions, 3. 9 out of 10 things said to kids is cheering positive with minimum instructions. (Do you really think they will get it done all correctly?) 4. No yelling at kids on the field, court, or rink while they play, 6. No post game talk, 7 SNACK 8. FUN for all. They are just kids. They are not mini adults or micro professional athletes. They are not remote controlled robots attached to adults’ personal status and joy sticks. 1% will play at the DI level .99.9% will never play pro so why would anyone coach them that way? Play for fun! Only 10% of the kids who are best at 12 are best at 18. Let them develop instead of the coach managing the game. No one knows how to win.70% will quit by the time they are 13.Why? 1. The kids are not having fun. 2. Too much pressure from adults.3.Lack of playing time. Puberty changes everything. A coach has only a 10% influence on the outcome of a game so they should be heard, ALONG with the PARENTS, 10% of the time while the kids are playing. Adults call it coaching, kids call it interfering or in comedy terms, heckling... Play for fun the kids only know the score because you tell them. Its adulting kids. Ten minutes after the game adults are the only ones who care. It’s why kids hate the ride home after sports. They will play ALL day by themselves without a scoreboard. It’s the adults’ egos that remind the kids. Do you really think that there won’t be a game if the coach isn’t there? We use Science instead of tradition, Psychology instead of hunches, and data instead of theory for these steps. Try them for on game. The kids will love it!

Let them be kids

Just got off the phone with a coach who told me that FUN doesn’t have to play a part in his teams’ agenda. You should not be coaching children. Last night I watched a father who thinks he knows sports, but never played high school varsity or college level, tell his son after a game his team won how badly his son played. He blasted his son for not playing well. The kid was almost in tears. What a ride home that had to be for the young boy. Amused by parents who say its common sense to teach kids how to win and lose and then when their kid doesn’t play and team wins they are mad. We are sending group of children into adulthood from youth and Sports that see entitlement/manipulation as acceptable parts of a persona.

Prom night Part III

The Prom Part III

Just when I thought I had heard all the feedback that I was going to get on this subject, I got a call this morning that I had to write about. Now understand I am getting this third hand, but even if only part of this is true, it speaks volumes as to why I feel so passionate about what we do at Frozen Shorts, and how much it needs to be successful for our future generation of children.

I was told this morning that a parent had actually blamed a loss for his team on the Prom. That’s right; kids going to the Prom had cost their team a win. Now think for a minute: A parent, a successful and a fully functioning member of society, who was so into this team that he was blaming a loss on children who did not play. It seems to me he just wanted to make sure he had the coaches back and that every parent, and sadly his son, knew that. He was the guy who had the keen insight to be able to make these calls for the team. He also maybe is trying to insure that his kid has a starting spot on the team for next year, and may or may not realize it.

Whether it is bad calls by the umpire that he captures on video, and shows all that will listen, or some outside distraction affecting his sons ability to perform in a crucial moment, that he pontificates to the other parents  because this could happen to their kid, he has the definitive say on what’s going on during the game. The illogic he used in this case was because the children who weren’t there could have played, the coach was “forced” to play one of his better players in a major blowout! Seriously, how much kool aid do you have to drink to come up with that one? Did this guy even play High School or college sports?

 I have spoken with many ex pro athletes and not one agrees this current path is the right ones for their kids, or any kids. One did talk to me about completion for little ones around the age of 8-10 but when I explained the science, Psychology, and data as to why equal play would actually help the competition, she readily agreed.

Let’s break this down logically. I know, I’m using logic, experience, and cause and effect principles, to come up with solutions to an illogical thought process. ALL kids should be encouraged to go to the Prom if they want to. Most of these kids do not play unless the game is a blowout anyway. Even with them not there were other kids, not just the starters, were still left to play. I don’t think you think what you think you think is correct on this sir.

Now here comes the part that my brain is trying to analyze and figure out. Did the kids, as a group, decide, since they knew they weren’t going to play anyway based on this seasons past experience, say collectively, let’s go to the Prom and show everyone our feelings. Did they think that they would be “punished” for missing the game by being “benched?” Going to the Prom en masse was a form of teenage rebellion or defiance? Or did they just want to go to the Prom?

Did the coach reschedule this game knowing about the Prom, and thus insuring that he did not have to worry for three games, about playing kids that were on the bench? Did he tell the other coach, after the game, that he was in a “pickle” because these kids went to the Prom and he was “forced” to use one of his best players more that he wanted to?  Was he saying and modeling one behavior to the kids and then a completely opposite thought process and behavior for adults so as to ensure that anything bad that happened wasn’t his fault?

But mostly, what about the kids? Are they now being modeled a behavior by adults that allows them to rationalize poor behavior? Are they seeing themselves as pawns as they wait their “turn” to play next year? “You must sit now so you can play later.” Is everyone so accepting of this because there are so few spots and so many kids playing that fear of falling behind, or not keeping up with the Jones dictates a slow and steady decline of real inter team completion and fun?

We are then sending a group of children into adulthood from youth and high school sports that see entitlement and manipulation as acceptable parts of a persona.

Equal play and fun

There is no medical, psychological data that says equal play impedes child’s athletic development U10. Just the adults’ egos are bruised. We have done pilot programs up to U13 with complete success and others have sent me data that they have done it all the way up to U18 with great success. If you leave kids alone, they will play for hours on end. It’s called free play. The score doesn’t change the way they play if left alone, just the way adults think. I was told by an adult after a talk that the kids want to and know what the score is. Yes, some do, BUT most know because adults pound it into them.  They want to play for fun. The true test of a child’s involvement in sports is that they want to keep playing after a game is over and the TEAM leaves the field happy. Another parent told me they have to learn to win and lose. How are you qualified to teach that? Remember, no one knows how to win. Survival of the fittest, in its original definition was about the WHOLE community surviving not one individual

In high school and college you take multiple subjects yet we force children to specialize at an early age and then are shocked by rebellion. Kids on the playground don’t need adults telling them what to do. They can figure out the rules and roles for themselves, and they want to! Ever heard your child "I can do it myself" I did. My daughter was 2. Children want and need the desire to learn. Teach them the "yearn to learn”. It's all about the journey. When you go on a trip and have a guide, the guide leads but do not dominate. They let you experience life now you know what the kids want. When is the last time you made a mistake at work and the boss had you stay after and run laps? Does the boss stand over you constantly? PLAY FOR FUN!

It's Over

Its Over

Just finished talking with a college athlete whose playing days are over, and the body language and tone in his voice told  the real story of his trip through youth, club, high school, and college athletics. You can see he doesn’t want to give up the dream. But it is over. The sadness I see in his face is not the normal one of oh well, it was a good run.Is the emptiness athletes, not ex pros, just the regular kids. The 99%, who after playing days are over, have this "what the heck, every one told me I was great" or” I spent 10 years of my life doing this" show a lack of coping skills manifested in entitlement and angst. They don’t see that lack of diversity, life skills, and balance in their athletic life is now apparent in their real world? The long term consequences of specialization rear its ugly head.

The Mechanic

The Mechanic

I’m just the mechanic. The car should run just fine without me after I am done fixing it. if I give a car a tune-up as a mechanic cause its running rough do I then drive the car myself to prove my point or educate the driver? Why do you hesitate to buy a rental car? Maybe because you fear it’s been run too hard, but you really can’t tell can you? Specialization!!? Are children holding on to the dream after their careers are over because of all the time and money spent? Is the emptiness athlete, not pros, just kids after playing days are over come from lack of diversity and balance? In high school and college you take multiple subjects yet we force children to specialize at an early age and then are shocked by rebellion In high school and college you take multiple subjects yet we force children to specialize at an early age and then are shocked by rebellion Is the emptiness athletes, not pros, just kids after playing days are over come from lack of diversity and balance

The Prom Part II